I'm writing daily this month on being interrupted by grace. Learn more and join in here.
Yesterday was odd all around, so I didn't post. I awakened in the week hours of the morning FREEZING, so cold I could not get back to sleep. After an extra blanket and turning up the heat, I did finally fall asleep, only to wake up about an hour later to the noise of a big truck....and then found that I was really HOT. I got up to get some water and discovered an ambulance and fire truck in the street. This was around 4:30am. I finally determined they were tending to our next door neighbors. The fellow who lives there has been in this neighborhood for decades, his girlfriend had moved in about nine months ago. He had been sick recently, so I assumed the responders were tending to him; I texted her to make sure everything was okay.
It wasn't. But I didn't learn that until about 9am.
Before going back upstairs to bed, after the ambulance and firetruck had pulled away. I did notice that the man was out on the sidewalk talking on his phone. That struck me as odd, since I'd expected him to have been ill, but I was too wiped out to really think about it and went back to bed.
I was able to get back to sleep finally, at some point in the 5 o'clock hour, and dragged myself out of bed again at seven to nurse Katherine. I discovered a couple of calls on my phone from a number I didn't recognize, but no message. As you might expect, I was feeling pretty exhausted. I'd never experienced such bad sleep even when Katherine was a newborn. That was such a strange night. In the hours before church, I did a lot of laying around.
As I mentioned, around nine I got a call from the number that had called earlier. It was the brother of the woman next door. She had died in the night. Died!
So not expecting that news.
* * *
Fast forward through the rest of the day: We go to church, despite my warm clothing and wearing a baby in the wrap on my body, I'm again freezing the entire time. We get home, I nurse Katherine and sleep until she needs to nurse again at four. I try to eat some chicken noodle soup; one noodle tells me I shouldn't. So I send Colin on a Gatorade, saltines, and pop run. That Gatorade tasted so good! I have a headache and take some meds; my body's still going back and forth between chills and hot flashes.
I do finally start to feel a little better after getting some calories in me. I was concerned about getting over to see our neighbor, to check in and let him know we're with him in his grief. I had hoped to take him dinner, but that wasn't happening, so I wrote him a little card, packed up a few muffins we had made yesterday, and Elizabeth and I walked over to deliver them after Brian had gone to bed. There was no answer, so we left the treat on the mailbox.
* * *
Yesterday was one weird Sunday, that's all I can say. Still not feeling stellar this morning and my neighbor lady is still dead. I'm praying God will show us how to care well for him. Certainly our days, no matter how well planned or organized, can be quickly changed by things outside our control. What amazes me is how in control I deceive myself into believing I am. Days like these with grief next door and sickness at home remind me I'm not. They also remind me to trust that God is in control and at work, and not to fear.
Would you say a little prayer for my neighbor?