Oh no! What's happening to me? Here we are, nearing the end of the series, and I don't feel like I have any dramatically interesting stories to tell. (Wow, Heather, way to make your readers want to read on!)
|Mom went back to|
Africa today. <tear>
This year, I've been thinking about this idea of breaking free, meaning no longer being bound and paralyzed by the world's standards or the standards I create for myself. I desire to live free in God's grace. Having lived so long, however, in bondage to what I think people of think of me, my fears of failure, and my pride, I know this will not be an instantaneous transformation. I'm a black and white kind of girl. I want to know what to do and do it. I hate grey areas. I want to be sure that "I'm good." (It's a pride thing, not a righteousness thing, by the way.)
Life and the Word are teaching me that most of life is lived in grey areas. Scripture tells us to do (or not do) certain things, but how those things play out in day-to-day life can look very different from person to person and family to family. And that is OK!
For instance, specific to my situation: homeschooling. There are almost as many ways to homeschool as there are families that do. This is beautiful. But for me it is also uncomfortable, because I want to know that I'm doing it "right." When I feel like I'm not measuring up, very quickly I become overwhelmed by all the options, dissatisfied with everything we're doing, unable to rejoice in and appreciate what others are doing, and all of life gets very tense.
Part of breaking free for me involves the process of becoming more flexible. Like a stiff reed that needs a soaking to be useful, I need the Lord to soften me up every time I start to dry out and tighten up in my doubts, fears, plans, and programs.
Graciously, He comes along side and nudges me to trust Him. For much of this month, I've been nudged a lot. Schedules have been disrupted for various reasons, today by taking my mom to the airport during "school time." But the build up to today brought me to a place that was okay with getting some work done in the car and other things later in the afternoon, without fear of disaster striking or us not being able to get to everything, because we were doing a better thing in the grand scheme of life. (We got our work done before dinner, too!)
Reflecting on all of this I'm interrupted by grace. God calls us to things by His grace for certain purposes. We wander here and there around them sometimes, but He always graciously, gently, and compassionately takes our heads in His hands, so to speak, turning them to refocus on Him and the path He's clearing for us, that we may entrust to Him the unknowns, the uncontrolables, even the unbelief.
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. ~Galatians 5:1
Praise be to God!
* * *
REMINDER: Get your name in the running for this month's little interrupted by grace gift bag!! Tomorrow is the last day in this April series because, well, it's the last day of April! Click on this link to leave a comment letting me know you'd like me to put your name in the jar. Make sure to get on it before 5pm EST tomorrow evening. Thanks for hanging out with me here in my little corner of the internet this month!