Farewell, For Now

You may have noticed that posts are few and far between these days here at Life in the Valley.  Lying in bed this morning I realized that now might be the time to let go of this for a while.  My Gram once advised that I should keep writing till I felt like God was telling me I shouldn't anymore.  So wise!  Today, that time has come.  I want to be writing now and then, but cannot seem to fit it into life.  Then, knowing this space is dead becomes a source of stress rather than the joy it has been during seasons when I have been able to write regularly, i.e. when I have been willing to choose writing over something else.

I am so grateful to you readers who have encouraged me along the way.  And I hope someday to be back at this.  But right now, maintaining a blog does not fit in with my priorities.  Surely this being a year of surrender has something to do with why the idea of leaving Life in the Valley alone for now came up in the wee hours this morning.  I am rolling with it, because the thought brings me such peace ... and because I'll find excuses not to obey if I don't take this immediate action!

Feel free to poke around the blog.  I will pray that past posts will be an encouragement to you in the present.  May God bless you as you seek Him; I know you will find him!

I leave you with my favorite verse:

Source

Most sincerely,

Heather

2016 Word of the Year: Surrender

Making resolutions is fun to me; it's a personality hazard!  But like many, I love a new year full of possibility for positive change.  When I was young we had a tradition of making resolutions together as a family.  My dad kept a folder of our yearly goals and we'd reread them each year.  My siblings and I would make "resolution booths" out of couch cushions and pillows and set our sights high: quit wetting the bed, stop biting nails, learn to read, etc.  As we aged, our resolutions continued to be age-appropriate: read more or specific books, organize something, get better grades, etc.  I love these memories!

Last year, the Lord guided me in a new direction, planting the idea of a 'theme word' for the year, one I could focus on and watch Him use to transform me.  For much of last year, I wrote about being OPEN regularly, to keep myself accountable to that God-given word.  As 2015 was drawing to a close, another word kept coming up enough that it occurred to me that I should maybe pay attention: SURRENDER.

Truth be told, I find this word terrifying.  When I think of surrendering I think of having to let go and give up on things I hold dear, whether or not they are good for me or honor God.  I visualize myself clinging tightly to idols that might as well be golden calves, for as they are just as deaf, mute, and useless as idols made of stone and metal.  I picture SURRENDER looking like un-clinging to those idols and clinging instead to our Savior.

Well, I wrote the previous three paragraphs a couple of weeks ago.  Looks like I didn't make a very strong blogging resolution for the year!  The last week has been quite interesting, though.  Here I am fearing having to SURRENDER because I love myself and my golden calves so much, and God has been driving home to me that He is merciful, loving, and kind.  I cannot get through a day without being overwhelmed by His never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love, to borrow a phrase from The Jesus Storybook Bible.

God is killing me with kindness!

And I'm finding His kindness is unlike any other.  From stories of His chosen people and their deceitful, dishonest, and impure ways I have been reading in my study times, to the quiet whispers of the Spirit to my soul that say, Heather, you really are forgiven.  God truly loves you as His child, I have been floored daily by this incredible God who owes me nothing but gives me everything, even Himself.

Of course, as a Christian I know that God is love and all that jazz, but it has been humbling and heart-freeing to be the object of His direct and consistent instruction from His word and Spirit that HE LOVES ME.

The Truth makes me want to live differently,

with my family, my friends, at the grocery store -
a joyful surrender in response to His love.

I'm convicted, but hopeful, because if God loves and forgives me, surely He can transform me.  I won't be forever bound by my chains of addition to praise, fear of failure, the prideful need to be the best, the constant need to compare, quick anger and frustration.  My Father loves me.  It is well with my soul.  Every day I can repent and believe the good news!

I have several stories to share about how Scripture reading has been piercing my heart and uplifting it.  I will do my best to share them over the next few weeks, because friends, God's word is the best fuel for our faith.  Watching the Lord "in action" with His people throughout history, reading about Him walking the streets of Earth, and meditating on the praise of the Psalms and wisdom of the Proverbs changes the way we think and sparks our spirit to life.  New life!

Dear reader, are you exposing yourself to and availing yourself of the Word of God more than on Sunday mornings?  You don't need an over-the-top plan or resolution, simply a commitment to crack the book or the app open and take in something.  If you need ideas, I'd be happy to help you come up with something.  I am confident, because of God's never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love, that regular meditation on the Word will make 2016 a different year for all us!

Finally, if you have a theme word for the year, I'd love to hear about it!

PHOTO CREDIT

Before You Make That List of Resolutions ...

Happy new year, friends!  As we welcome 2016 I want to share Psalm 1 with you.

Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers. 

Not so the wicked!
    They are like chaff
    that the wind blows away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
    nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
    but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

I open the year here on Life in the Valley this way, because the start to a new year can make us a little nuts.  Giddily we set goals and make plans for the coming year, resolving that this will be the year of grand transformation and productivity!  Of course, that year has never happened according to our plans.  And though we have grown and changed and developed new habits over the years as a result of a little planning, resolutions never result in the complete transformation we desire.

One of my biggest troubles is getting obsessed with making precisely the right choice in every situation. The problem with this is that there are many options in most situations that could be equally as fine.  Some examples: Spend time with people or spend time alone?  Hang out with the family or get a chore done?  Commit to plans at the weekend or leave it open?  Spend money on this thing or save for another?  And so on and so forth.  I can make myself crazy worrying about making the "right" choice, rather than relaxing, making a decision, and letting the time (or money or whatever) be spent as it is spent and letting life unfold however it does.  Even in the middle of certain activities, I can find myself fretting that I'm not able to simultaneously do the other thing that seems pressing.  Can you relate?

I am certain this is NOT how God wants me, or you, to live!  He has not called his children to live in a state of constant internal frenzy, panic, and fear!  Jesus talked, after all, about righteousness in conjunction with peace and soul-rest.

Which brings me back to Psalm 1, Blessed is the one.  The "one" described is the person who forsakes the way of the world for the way of God, delighting in and meditating on His law.  His heart is oriented toward the Lord, and consequently, he is deeply rooted, fruitful, healthy, and prosperous.  In contrast, the "wicked", those not oriented toward their Creator, are not connected, rooted, fed, and growing.  As easily as wind blows away chaff, they will be blown away and unable to stand before the Lord with the righteous.

Now, at this point you might be thinking, "That's not very nice."  But we are dealing here with the Word of the Lord and He has laid out these two options for us: His way or our own.  He is also quite clear, from Genesis to Revelation, about the results of each path.  To know life, we must choose His way.  "Wickedness", i.e. our own way, leads only to death and separation from Him.  Check out the final verse; it's a good summary of this:

For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,

but the way of the wicked will perish.

In those words I find great comfort and instruction for my frenzied heart and mind, that fear failure by not getting everything "right."  I pray you will find balm for your soul in these words, too.  Here's it is.  Those who walk in God's way are being watched over by their Lord.  God's people are called to know and obey His law, of course, but they are also cared for, sustained,  and preserved by the law-giver!  We may be fickle and inconsistent, but the Lord is not.  Blessed be His holy name!

Starting 2016 here fills me with hope.  The Lord is not calling us to get life "right".  He is calling us to live life with our faces, hearts, and minds turned toward Him.  As His children, we can begin this new year confident that He is watching over our way!  We can also take heart, knowing that in choosing Him He will make us as trees planted by streams of water, deeply rooted, fruitful, healthy, and prosperous, to His glory and praise.

Make those resolutions, they help us grow.  (I've got my "word of the year" all ready to go!)  But first, bow the knee, so you're in the right position before the Lord and can give HIM the honor and praise for the growth that comes over the next twelve months.

Happy new year!

photo credit

2016 Word of the Year: Be on the Alert!

Resolutions have always appealed to me, because I am a planner and like goal setting.  While I rarely achieve perfection with resolutions, I have found the quote, "shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you land among the stars," to be true.  If I commit to reading a book a month or something, I may not do it every month, but I'll likely read more books that year than I did the previous.  You get the idea.

Last year, however, I felt the draw away from specifics to the more general idea or theme for 2015.  You may recall that I invited you to join me in choosing a theme word for the year.  Did any of you do that?  If so, I'd love to hear how God used that word to guide and transform you!  The word the Lord had impressed upon my heart was OPEN.  The concept, or practice, of being OPEN to the Lord kept coming up so much, I could not ignore it.  To hold myself accountable, I wrote regularly (at least till September) about how I saw God nudging me to be open.

With only a cursory review of the year, I can see how that one word, hanging above the garbage can in my kitchen, was used by the Lord to grow and stretch me in ways I never expected.  He provided opportunities for me to be OPEN, with my life, our home, my time, and my stuff, over and over again.  I'm sure those chances would have come with our without  a 2015 theme word, but it is fun to look back and testify to God's work from providing the word, OPEN, to providing opportunities to grow in Him by being OPEN.

This year was far from perfect.  Many were the times I was not generously open to God or with those around me!  But I would not count having a theme word as a waste, because I saw God work in and around me.  Without opening the year with that theme word, I would not have the same testimony to God's goodness, patience, mercy, and love.  This year He showed me there was space for playgroup, leading a Mom Heart group, and gave me two speaking engagements (which came right on top of each other and really stretched my trust in His provision, and wisdom)!  He filled me with joy as I saw dreams I had for our home coming true: space being used for both gathering people together and making and deepening relationships.  I guess God has primarily used being OPEN in 2015 to solidify the ministry calling He has on my life right now.  I am humbled, because my failures and shortcomings could not hold Him back.

And, can I tell you a secret?  Lean in.  Though sometimes it has been hard, mostly it has been a lot of fun!

That brings to mind these verses from Psalm 37:3-5,

Trust in the Lord, and do good;

dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the Lord,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;

trust in him, and he will act.

Trust in HIM, and HE will act.  He knows the desires of your heart better than you do.  He is also utterly trustworthy, (Christmas and Easter testify to that).  So again for 2016, I invite you to seek the Lord, keeping your eyes peeled and your ears open, for whether he has a theme word or verse for your walk with Him.  I've had the word surrender coming up a lot lately.  That one scares me.  A lot!  I hold on so tightly to so many things that are not Christ, but more about that later....

I wish you a very Merry Christmas, one that is full of gifts from above as you worship the King of kings and Lord of lords!  And keep your heart open for a word from the Lord.  I am confident that He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion!  Let Him amaze you.

30 Days of Encouragement {Day 30!!}: Marathon Mentality

And just like that, Advent has begun and we arrive at the end of another Life in the Valley November series.  I hope you have had as much fun as I have watching God give us things to ponder and to try this month.  Every year I am surprised by how He works during the November series, providing me with content each day and blessing me with feedback from you kind readers.  I credit my friend Kit for getting me into this back in 2011; she wrote a great series about Loving the Church, if you're looking for another series to read.  It's excellent.  Also, hat makes this the 5th Annual November Series - throw the confetti!

Image Credit

Now, get this!  My New Testament reading was this morning was Hebrews 10.  So cool!  After spending a month thinking mostly about verses nineteen to twenty-five, it was great to give the whole chapter a read again this morning.  Here are some incredible things the author says about Christ and the efficacy of His ONE sacrifice for us:

But those sacrifices are an annual reminder of sins, because it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins. ... And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.  (3-4)

because by that one sacrifice He has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.  (10)

And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin. (18)

Under the Old Covenant, once a year a priest would go in to offer sacrifices of atonement for himself and the people.  All that bloodshed was a shadow of things to come, namely Christ!  And finally, God fulfilled His promise to set us free by the blood of His Son.

You know that is what Christmas is all about right?

That Jesus came, to die.

Not as sentimental a season when you put it that way!  But that truth is the very fuel of our drive to encourage others.  IF YOU ARE IN CHRIST - have accepted His sacrifice as the atonement for your sin - YOU ARE FREE!  No longer do you do good to make up for all the bad; Christ took care of that in the only way it could be fixed.  Rather, in the joy of your salvation you can consider others, spur others on toward love and good deeds, meet together, and encourage one another.  Because not only did Christ come to die, but He rose again, and He is coming again to judge and rule forever.

I urge you to celebrate your freedom in Christ by encouraging others this Christmas season, and beyond!  The Lord has a lot of work to do in our hearts to transform us into people with an Attitude, Availability, and Attention to minister to others, but He can and He will.

Before telling you who won the giveaway, I'll give you one more Crabb and Allender quote for the road.  They are specifically talking about developing a vicious of becoming an encouraging community in churches, but it applies to individual life as well.

The development of encouragement in the body may be a slow and barely visible process.  But faithfulness in well-doing, even when fatigue sets in will be rewarded.  The Christian life is not a short sprint on a fast track; it is a marathon race over rough terrain. An initial burst of speed ("Let's have an encouragement seminar!") is less important to success than a steady, sustained pace.  p135

Look to the manger, the cross, the empty tomb, and the promise He will come again, and press on in faith.  Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.  Hebrews 10:23

*     *     *

Now, drum roll please.  The winner is...

KAREN!

Congratulations!  I'll get your little treat to you soon.

30 Days of Encouragement {Day 28}: Series Summary

Guys, this is the next to last post of the November 2015, 30 Days of Encouragement series!  How fast has this month gone by?!  Don't forget that Monday is giveaway day.  You could be the happy winner of this little collection of goodies:

Throw your name in the hat by leaving an "I'm in!" comment

before the end of the day tomorrow.

When the series began our focus passage for the duration was Hebrews 10:19-25.

Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.  Hebrews 10:19-25

Here we see that our motivation for spurring one another toward love and good deeds, meeting together, and encouraging one another is Christ.  He has made all the difference in our lives. We can approach God!  Christ is interceding for us as our High Priest!  We are cleansed from sin and have hope!  The Good News of new life in Christ motivates us to consider others and encourage them.

Thanks to the input of Drs. Larry Crabb and Dan Allender from their book Encouragement: the Unexpected Power of Building Others Up, and the Merriam Webester dictionary, I came up with this definition of Christian encouragement:

encouragement: the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope that is grounded in Christ and points them to Him

Sounds great, doesn't it?  Don't you want to be that for others?  As we learned, though, it takes practice and a transformation of our hearts to encourage one another, because - forgiven or not - we still naturally think primarily about ourselves!  Throughout the series I have endeavored to expand on the who, what, when, where, how, and why of encouragement, give you a framework for growing as an encourager, and offer practical ideas for you to put encouragement into practice.  My prayer is that the Lord has used this series to ground you in Christ and point you to Him.

With the Spirit in us, we have so much power, friends.  Be a vessel for the Lord through which His encouragement can flow to others.  You don't need a seminary degree or staff position at your church.  You possess the Spirit, can read God's Word, have access to Him in prayer (thanks, Jesus!), and people in your life to encoruage.  I anticipate that as you step out in faith to encourage others, you will find God faithful.  I know, because I have!

I wonder if any of you have stories already from this very month of how you've tried to encourage others.  I'd love to hear them!

30 Days of Encouragement {Day 27}: Worship and Sunday School

You've arrived almost at the end of a month-long series.  Check out the intro here.

Photo taken from Graystone EPC's Facebook page

If you have been around Life in the Valley long enough, you know that I put a high value on being and active part of a local congregation.  I hesitate to say 'church' because people often think of a building and maybe passive participation.  Rather than say that we're  going to church on Sunday, I make a point to use the word worship.  We are headed out the door to engage in something with our little branch of God's people on this earth.  Gathering on Sunday morning is not about checking an activity off the to do list, like you would a workout or a Boy Scout meeting.  Worship is meeting with God and His people, getting rightly oriented (focused on the Lord) as we start another week, confessing our sins and being assured of our forgiveness among the throng, hearing the word preached so we are prepared to go forth and love and serve the Lord, and so on.  The Bible also has a lot to say about how each part [read: each person] is critical to the body of believers, having different gifts to offer.  You are important!  Sunday morning worship is critical to our spiritual health and life and to the strength and health of our congregation.  My favorite days are communion Sundays, when all of those sinners walk their way to the front to take and eat in remembrance of our Savior.  SO MUCH FORGIVENESS AND GRACE, folks!  All over the world on a Sunday, people receive the elements.  Jesus' love, power, forgiveness, and grace are so high, long, wide, and deep.

[Do] not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing...

Hebrews 10:25a

Another "church thing" upon which I place a high value is Sunday School.  Now, Sunday School is not a Biblical mandate or anything.  No one is obligated to go to Sunday School.  But boy, is it valuable.  Gathering on Sunday morning to study the Word or a biblically-based book is good for us, especially given how little time most Christians devote to their spiritual formation.  The church has something set up and ready for you to learn, to grow, to be stretched!  Why not take advantage of it?  I also love those blessed folks who prepare lessons for my children every week and faithfully teach them about God, His ways, and His story.  The other gift of Sunday School is the relationships.  Sunday morning worship is a terrible time to try to get to know people at a church.  But Sunday School?  Ah, yes: a smaller group, more interaction, a chance to ask questions, a place to get to know some of those fellow saved-by-grace sinners.  I encourage you to give Sunday School a go, starting this Advent season!

What does this have to do with encouragement? you might ask.  Good question.

Back to that Hebrews verse, with the rest of it:

[Do] not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.  Hebrews 10:25

You've heard me say it before: It is very difficult to encourage one another without ever getting together!  Your local congregation should be a place of flowing encouragement.  It may not be that for you right now, and you cannot control whether other people are being encouraging, but YOU can make the move to encourage.  Go!  Be there.  Engage and encourage.  You cannot know your people wihtout gathering with them.  Sermons and Sunday School topics will give you things to talk about beyond the weather and how things are going at work.

Crabb and Allender argue that the church should be a place of encouragement, where people are pushing one another to consider God, spurring one another on toward love and good deeds, and where lives are being transformed not by counselors, but by lay people who have learned the habit and skills of encouragement.  Again, pick up their book.  In fact, they have a study series you could do in a Sunday School class!  <wink>

In all seriousness, though, I cannot encourage you enough to be an active part of your local congregation.  Sure, being part of a church can be tough, because people go there (people not much different that you).  But don't give up meeting together.  Stick with your people, like family, and ask God to show you how you can encourage one another when you meet together.  I assure you, the opportunities are endless.  And if you are worried about being cared for yourself, I offer you Paul's words to the Philippians designed by this source:

30 Days of Encouragement {Day 26}: Giving

Since it is a holiday, I'll be brief!  I hope you have all had great days with your family and/or friends.  We had a deep conversation about different types of toilet paper over our delicious meal.  Bet you're sad to have missed out on that.  Let me know if you need any recommendations.

In thinking about encouraging one another and how the five love languages can give us ideas, we find gift giving and acts of service on the list.  The two are different, but similar.  Giving someone a gift, at least from my perspective, is not that much different from doing something for them.  That is, after all, a gift of help to them. Yesterday I talked about the helping part, so today it's GIVING.

How perfect that this post falls on ThanksGIVING!  Cool, right?  I didn't even plan that.  We are spending today giving thanks to God for all His provision, protection, and love for us.  And we can also think about ways we can give to others to encourage them.

Obviously a well-timed and carefully chosen present can encourage another.  Love is communicated in the giving.  There are other ways to encourage by giving, as well.  Here are a few that come to mind:

Food  Taking a meal to a grieving family, one who has just welcomed a new child, or is in transition can offer great encouragement and also builds relationships.  It is incredible what a gift food can be!  A friend of mine even brought me a fantastic snack bag at the hospital after our third was born.  I have copied her gesture on several occasions.  I mean, who doesn't want a Snickers when they're nourishing another human! 

A Hug or a Hand Hold These are free and come to us with varying degrees of ease, but what a gift a hug can be.  In some discouraging and sad seasons of life a hug offers both physical upholding as well as soul up-lifting.  If you feel the urge to give someone a hug who sure seems to need it, go for it.  Or ask if it's okay and then hug away if they say yes.  We're not a touchy culture, but sometimes we need to break through that to offer encouragement. 

Mission Support  A final thought that I had on the "giving" encouragement front was monetary support to missionaries or people going on short-term mission trips.  This can be an immense encouragement to those headed out to our on the front lines of ministry in challenging places on the globe.  When offered the opportunity, give as you are able, and pray.  You will certainly be an encouragement to the missionary with your generousity.

I am sure you can think of other ways that by giving you can encourage one another.  These are the few that came to mind as I was considering the topic.  I am reminded of a story in 2 Corinthians 8 about the poor churches of Madeconia bursting at the seams to be generous and to share with believers in other places.  They were motivated by God's love for them.  And Paul writes to the Corinthians,

Just as you excel in everything - in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness, and in your love for us - see that you also excel in this grace of giving.  (8:7)

Let's excel in this grace of giving, friends: Giving thanks to God the Father on this Thanksgiving day and giving eagerly of all He has provided for us, in order to encourage one another!

Speaking of GIVING,  don't forget to drop a comment if you want to be included in the giveaway!

*****Click here for details. *****

30 Days of Encouragement {Day 25}: Helping

For the intro to this series, click here.

Words are critical to the ministry of encouragement.  Crabb and Allendar offer so much instruction and wisdom on the topic in their book Encouragement: the Unexpected Power of Building Others Up.  If you want to learn more, I recommend grabbing a copy.  If you're local, I'll lend you mine!  Today I'd like to move away from words to the idea of encouraging one another by helping.  Of course, like it says in Proverbs 25:11, A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.   I also believe a helping hand at just the right time can offer the same kind of encouragement.

When I consider the ministry of Jesus, so perfectly focused on loving God and loving others, I think of Him not only forgiving sins and preaching repentance and the Kingdom, but also touching the untouchable, attending wedding feasts, healing diseases, opening the eyes of the blind, and so on.  He ministered not only in word, but in deed.  His deeds, affection, company, and consistency attested to the truth of the message that came from His lips.

Our deeds, motivated by love and done with intention, can spur another on toward love and good deeds and encourage.  Consider yesterday's list of discouraging situations.  In all of those things, people are in need not only of words of encouragement, but also practical assistance.  You might be the one who can offer encouragement by your helping hands: giving a ride, cleaning a toilet, running some errands, watching small children, keeping someone company, move a heavy piece of furniture, etc.

On this holiday weekend you may have a little extra time to lend a helping hand to someone in need.   Ask the Lord to show you places you might minister encouragement to another with your own two hands.  You may also need some help.  Let someone else encourage you by asking for assistance!

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.  Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.  And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  Colossians 3:15-17

30 Days of Encouragement {Day 24}: Prayer & the Giveaway

This is the last week of a month-long series.  Read the intro here.

I am in the middle of sharing with you some ways you can encourage one another.  We've hit on getting together and getting in touch.  Today we'll talk about prayer.  

Early on in the series, I took a day to share a list of discouraging circumstances in which people you know might find themselves.  Here it is again:

• Grieving a loss of a loved one
• Starting/trying something new
• Unemployment or other financial trial
• Moving
• Having a new baby or an adoption
• Challenges with kids during different stages
• Caring for aging parents
• Marriage troubles
• When a spouse is deployed
• Any kind of unexpected change in circumstances

At times like this in our lives, we need the encouragement of others to keep going, don't we?  As I mentioned in that post, having a list like this in mind can be a trigger for us to catch encouragement opportunities.  Some of the things on this list you have lived, so you're uniquely poised to offer encouragement and hope to an individual enduring the same.  One of the very best, though seemingly least "productive", things we can offer to encourage another is prayer.

Remember our definition of Christian encouragement?

the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope that is grounded in Christ and points them to Him

What better thing to point someone to the Lord than prayer?!  Here are some tips.

Pray Right Away

One of my friends is in the uncommon practice of praying for people right at the moment.  If you are talking with her and you mention needing prayer, she quickly says, "Okay, let's do that right now."  Or even if you don't specifically mention needing prayer, she notices prayer is needed and offers.  I remember hearing on the radio once: Prayer should be our first option, not our last opportunity.  My friend models this so well and it is most definitely an encouragement!

Continue Praying

For the majority of people, because we are spiritual beings, created in God's image, appreciate being prayed for.  One of my friends said she has only been turned down once when offering to pray for someone!  ONCE!!  That's incredible.  Praying for one another changes lives.  It changes ours, as we entrust struggles, trials, and hardships to the Lord.  And it changes the lives of the prayed for, as they see God work in their circumstances.  God gets all the glory for working in the "impossible".  

I know we are all forgetful.  So when you are in a situation where you want to remember to pray or you tell someone you will pray for them, WRITE IT DOWN!  For me, the back of my hand is my go-to spot, till I can jot it down some where else.  Keep a prayer list, hang a note somewhere you'll be reminded to pray regularly, or something like that to help you be faithful to continue in prayer. 

A habit I would like to get into is praying for people who "randomly" come to mind, rather than simply wondering about how curious it was to think of them at that moment.  Again, encouragement involves habit.  If I prayed for them, I could even let them know I am doing that when I get in touch! 

Finally, no matter how regular or irregular you are, let the person know you are praying for them.  How good it is for our spirits and our faith to know that another is coming before the Lord on our behalf!

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people.  Ephesians 6:18

*     *     *

Giveaway time!!

To celebrate the end of the series, I have a gift collection I'd like to give away: a small journal, note cards (you know, so you can encourage some folks with them), pens, and chocolate (because chocolate)!  It gives me great pleasure to send off a little gift to a reader.  I am humbled that you all take the time to be here and learn with me.

"Heather, how do I enter?"

Glad you asked.  We're going to keep this one super simple.  Leave an "I'm in" comment, or something like that on a post between today and Sunday, and I'll drop your name in the hat.  I'll announce the winner on Monday, November 30 in the final post of the series.

30 Days of Encouragement {Day 23}: Get in Touch

This is the final week of a month-long series.  Start here to find out what it is all about.

I think we're in the fun part of this series.  How about you?  The part where ideas are shared and you can try out the "encourage one another" thing in a variety of ways.  On Saturday I shared about the importance of getting together and spending time with people to encourage them.  Today's topic is similar, but focused more on communicating with the "another" you are trying to encourage, rather than being physically present with them.  You can encourage one another by getting in touch!

In our super slick modern age, there are so many ways we can be in touch.  Messages are constantly flying over the airwaves and through miles of wire, but I wonder what percentage of them are intentionally sent to encourage?  A message sent in love, with words carefully chosen to build up the other person and point them to Christ, will stand out and light a fire in a soul.  Or a phone call made with the purpose of listening, while asking a few direct questions, can change the course of someone's day, or life, to God's glory.

Our means of communication these days include phone calls, text messages, emails, and (my favorite) handwritten letters.  Any of these means of communication can convey to the receiver, Hey, I was thinking of YOU, yes you.  I want to know how YOU are doing.  I want to know how I can  pray for you and hear about what's going on in your life. YOU matter in this crazy world and God loves you and will help you, guide you, teach you, and sustain you.  And I love YOU, you're important to me, too.

It does not have to complicated to communicate that much.  For example, on a beautiful evening recently one of my local friends  sent me a text that simply said, SUNSET.  Can't get much briefer than one word, can you?  But what was communicated in that was, I know you and our mutual affection for gorgeous sunsets and God's beautiful creation.  I thought of YOU while I was admiring the sunset and wanted to make sure you did not miss it.  Yep, I got all that from one word!  What was super fun, to me, was that I had pointed out the beauty of the sunset to the kids not moments before that text beeped its way into my phone.  We were about an hour from home, admiring the same beauty as my friend!

Personally, I believe that snail mail and phone calls are particularly meaningful in this day and age of quick messages and rapid making of plans.  You can go a little deeper and/or hear tones in a way you might miss from a hastily typed message.  They also demand a setting aside of time that is different and intentional.  But as you can see from my story, a simple text can also communicate love and care, too!

Today choose one of these means of getting in touch and do so.  Ask the Lord to bring someone to mind that He can use you to encourage today.  Then plan to do so in the next day or so.  How much power the Lord has given us to spur one another on toward love and good deeds ... encouraging one another -- and all the more as we see the Day approaching.  (Hebrews 10: 24 -25)  His love for us, remember, is our reason to lift one another up.  His Spirit in us is our strength and guide for living out His love in the world.

30 Days of Encouragement {Day 21}: Get Together

Click here to learn what this series is all about.

This is the day, friends!  We're in to the "how" of encouragement.  For the rest of the series I will offer practical ideas for encouraging others.  Our last day on the topic will be Monday, November 30.  There will be a giveaway and everything!  Till then we'll march through a list of ways we can encourage one another.

Our neighbor's front porch, a widow who invited us on our first Halloween here to cove visit any time.

As Crabb and Allender say, words that encourage are motivated by love and directed at fear.  And much of our ability to really encourage another person will depend on the quality of our words spoken to them.  But there are also many other ways we can encourage that surround and support the truth of the words that will come out of our mouths or fingers, if the words are being written.

When I think about encouraging others and wanting it to be useful, genuine encouragement, my mind wanders to Gary D. Champman's thoughts about the five love languages.  In his book, he suggests that there are five broad categories of how people feel the most loved and express love to others: gift giving, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time.  You'll have to read the book - it's a quick read - to get the full picture, but these categories helped me to think about various ways we can encourage one another.  We'll being today with quality time.

When I did an informal survey on Facebook about what encourages people, several mentioned the importance of people spending time with them.  We certainly all feel unloved if no one wants to hang out with us!  And, I venture to guess, that most of us are encouraged when someone wants to use some of their limited time to be with us.  We can sincerely encourage another person by having and/or making time to be with them.  

This takes effort, fitting under the Availability for Ministry category and making margins in one's life.  Do you know people in your sphere of influence who could us a visit or with whom  you need to make a coffee date?  Perhaps there is a widow down the street.  Maybe you need to invite an acquaintance over to get to know them better.  Are there other folks in your life who desperately need the encouragement of quality time, devoted to them and their well-being, to lift them up?

I am sure we all know at least one.

Do not be concerned about what is outside your ability or sphere of influence.  Think today about making space to get together with whomever God brings to mind when you ask Him to whom you can be an encouragement.  Consider what questions you can ask to know them better and what words you might use to encourage them when you are together.  The goal is not to be a perfect encourager, but to be a faithful one, who seizes the opportunities the Lord places in your way!

For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.  I Thessalonians 5:9-11

30 Days of Encouragement {Day 20}: Motivation and Direction

Welcome!  You can find the series introduction here.

Yesterday I quoted Dr. Larry Crabb and Dr. Dan Allender who say that encouraging words are motivated by love and directed at the hearer's fear.  Sitting with the Lord this morning, I asked Him what direction to go with today's post.  That quote came to mind, so I will flesh it out.

What does it mean for us to speak words that are motivated by love and directed at fear?  Well, first of all, it does not mean that every conversation we have needs to be deeply theological or oozing with religion.  But as I have mentioned a dozen times, it does mean we need to give thought to what we say.  (Which can be a real challenge for someone like me or often processes her thoughts by saying them out loud!)  Ephesians 4:29 comes to mind:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

In yesterday's post, I mentioned the importance of quality listening, listening that goes beyond the words being said to get to the bottom of how the other person is really feeling.  For example, there are very different ways that someone might say, "Fine," when you ask them how they are doing.  Depending on the tone and body language, you will have to decide whether to take them at their word or if it's time to ask another question.  In fact, simply noticing that someone is having a tough time can be a source of encouragement to them!

Considering this scenario, we could have various motivations for going deeper with someone.  Our desire can be purely to lift their spirits and point them to Christ because of how much we have been loved by the Lord.  That is what I'd call being motivated by love.  There are other motivations, however, that we will have to be careful to keep in check, like wanting to get some juicy gossip or longing to be seen as a nice person.  Impure motivation abounds, but the Lord can transform our hearts to be motivated by love for others, instilling in us a desire to lead them into hope, life, joy, and peace, just as we have know those things in Christ.

Now, how about the directed at fear part.  Crabb and Allender go into this a lot in their book, and with simple eloquence.  (Again, I recommend their book.)  They argue that most of the time we interact with one another from behind layers, hiding our fears, doubts, and real selves behind them.  True encouragement cannot happen without layers being stripped away.  Self-examination by relating with the Lord, helps us to take off our own.  Developing encouragement skills and listening to the Holy Spirit enable us to get past those of others, so we can speak words of encouragement directly at their fears: am I lovable, has God abandoned me, will my needs be provided for, am a good enough whatever I am trying to be, etc.

You can begin today by asking God to purify your motives.  Ask Him to increase your awe and wonder at how much He loves you, especially given how little you deserve it.  Ask Him to fill you up with that kind of love for others, even the ones who seem so unlovable or demanding.  Then also ask Him for wisdom, to know your own fears and to see the fears of others, in order that you might speak words of encouragement into their lives.

Finally, keep reading your Bible!  God's Word is full of encouragement.  The more you fill yourself up on it, the more you have to pour out at critical moments - even if you have to look a verse up using keywords on Biblegateway!

30 Days of Encouragement {Day 18): Availability for Ministry

You can find the intro to this series here.

Yesterday I shared the first of three 'A' words with you in the effort to give us a framework for thinking about growing as an encourager.  We can begin to grow our Attitude of Ministry by regularly spending time with Jesus and practicing considering others intentionally.  Today we move on to Availability to Minister.  For, as obvious as it may seem, it is quite difficult to encourage one another if we never have a free minute to do so.

Little folks playing in the sandbox during playgroup!

Two points about Availability to Minister:

Listen to the Holy Spirit when He nudges.  We need to be available to the Spirit as He directs our path.  By opening our ears and hearts to Him, and willingly letting Him interrupt our "previously scheduled program", we make our selves available to minister to others.  Just like intentionally considering others, this takes practice.  The more we listen, the more we obey, the more we hear and the more likely we are to choose ministry in the future. 

For example, I have developed the habit (most of the time) of getting in touch as soon as possible with anyone who comes to mind.  More often than not, that is the nudge of the Spirit telling me that that individual needs encouragement.  Or perhaps you're in the middle of the conversation and "something" tells you you need to take the conversation deeper, doing just that is being available to minister encouragement to the person in front of you.  It can feel awkward at first, but the rewards and growth are well worth persevering. 

Live with a little margin.  I know some of you are laughing at this point, but I will ask nonetheless:  Is your life packed out?  I know, especially for my friends with demanding little people in in their lives, that the answer is always, Yes, life is totally packed out!  Of course it is.  But is it flexible?  Do you have wiggle room to be available to minister or are all your activities and responsibilities so back to back that you can only think about you and yours?  We have to have time to make the time to encourage one another.

Like yours, our family has more than enough going on in our lives, even while being intentional about not over-committing.  But I have tried to build time for extra interactions with others - to get to know them and hopefully be an encouragement to them - into my routine.  In the spring, finally responding to the Spirit's nudging (go figure!), we started a weekly playgroup at our house. In community we encrouage one another in words and by enjoying good company.  Opportunities to encourage come right in my door every Monday morning.  That margin for playgroup, planning our school weeks around it, not only makes me vacuum my floors, it also makes me available to minister in a natural context, with coffee!  I wonder how the Lord will show you where you can make margin for ministry?!

Well, there you have it, Heather's top two thoughts on how to be AVAILABLE to encrouage one another: listen when the Spirit nudges (i.e. be available to the Lord) and live with some margin (i.e. be available for others).  Both of these require being intentional; are you picking up on that as a major theme in growing to be an encourager?  I hope so, 'cause I'm not trying to hide it!

Go forth and be intentionally encouraging today!  I'll hit you with A-word number three tomorrow.

30 Days of Encouragement {Day 17}: Attitude of Ministry

You've arrived about halfway through this month's series.

Click here to read the introduction.

From the Hebrews passage (10:19-25), I determined encouraging one another requires two things: meeting together and intentionality in those meetings.  The author starts verse twenty-four by saying, And let us consider.  To encourage one another, we have to consider others.  Considering others will transform our interactions with them and allow us to spur them on toward love and good deeds, encouraging them!

A college student ministering to us and our little one at a church picnic.
Encouragement!

So today, I'm going to begin to give you a framework for growing into an encourager.  We'll spend three days on this and each day I'll give you and 'A' word, to help you remember!  I am not an expert on this topic, but I love encouraging others and learned a lot from reading Encouragement: The Key to Caring by Dr. Larry Crabb and Dr. Dan Allender.  Most of what I've been sharing with you comes directly from a talk I gave during the A Mom's Heart in Illinois conference on November 7th.

Crabb and Allender say, Encouragement is the fruit of a self-examined heart and a compassionate discerning sensitivity to the needs of others.

Read that again.  What they're saying is that becoming one who encourages is a combination of attitude and skills.  In fact Attitude is the first of the three 'A' words.  To become an encourager, we need to develop an attitude of ministry.

Here are two means by which we can cultivate an Attitude of Ministry:

1. To become and encourager, one must walk with Jesus.  Daily spending time in prayer and reading God's Word keeps us in our place.  We are reminded how much we need the Lord and how much He has done for us, particularly in giving us what we did not deserve: mercy.  Like Crabb and Allender suggest, encouragement is the fruit of a self-examined heart.  We cannot have such without regularly relating with our Savior and Lord.  In addition to self-examination, studying Christ also gives us a model for ministry!
2. To become an encourager, one must intentionally consider others.  It takes practice!  Developing an attitude of ministry will not happen for any of us overnight or by magic.  We begin by cultivating a posture that considers others: thinking ahead about upcoming interactions, praying about how we can meet others' needs and/or spur them on, making choices to engage when the Spirit nudges rather than sticking to small talk.

Fortunately as the Lord works in our hearts in our relationship with Him, we will begin to consider others as an outpouring of His work in our lives.  A self-examined heart leads to a greater compassion for others, which will lead to encouragement.  Throw in a handful of practical skills and you'll be  spewing encouragement all over the place, to the praise of His glory.

See you tomorrow for 'A' word number two of the trio!

30 Days of Encouragement {Day 14}: Let's Review!

Check out what the series is all about here.

Tomorrow puts us half way through the month, so let's use today for a review of what has been going on in this Encouragement series.  The focus text of the series is Hebrews 10:19-25.

19 Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

So far, this is what we have covered:

• What is encouragement?  I defined it as the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope that is grounded in Christ and points them to Him
• All can encourage  No matter who you are or what your situation, as a believer you are called to encourage others
• What if I need encouragement?  Even as we commit to encourage others, we will experience times when we need to be encouraged.  In these lonely times we move from simply knowing about God to meeting Him and having our needs met in Him.  He loves each one of us.
• Discouraging circumstances This post provided some ideas for times that others particularly need encouragement, to get you on the look out for encouragement opportunities.
• Why encourage?  We encourage one another because of what Christ has done for us as our Savior and High Priest.  We are free to consider others!
• More reason to encourage  Another reason to encourage is Jesus' second coming and the increase of trials that will come; we need encouragement to keep the faith in this harsh world.
• Encouragement Fuel  Knowing the Word is a great way to be prepared to encourage at any time; Love God Greatly is a wonderful resource to learn Bible Study.
• Encouragement requirements  In order to encourage one another we need to be meeting together and intentional in our interactions with one another.
• Who shall we encourage  As believers we should always be ready to encourage others, but especially those within the body of believers.
• When and where to encourage  Whenever and wherever we are we should encourage others, i.e. we need to develop and encouragement habit.  The Father and the Spirit are our companions in the ministry.

That is where we have been!  On Monday we will begin talking about HOW: how do we develop and encouragement mindset; how do we set up our lives to have space to encourage; how, practically, do we encourage in the day-to-day.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend and we'll move on next week!

Photo Credit

30 Days of Encouragement {Day 13}: When and Where?

Check out what this series is all about here.

Yesterday, while discussing the "who" of encouragement, I asked this convicting question:

How often do you head into Sunday morning worship or Sunday school or  Bible study or small group thinking about how you can encourage other believers gathering there?

The question convicts because we're not always thinking about ministering, are we?  With all of the demands and burdens of life, most of the time we're hoping, consciously or not, that someone will notice and care for us.  Which leads well into the "when and where" of encouragement.  When and where should we be encouraging others?

The short answer: whenever and wherever you meet together!

Whenever and wherever we meet, especially with fellow believers, we can seize the opportunity to encourage one another.  Whether we find ourselves in a large group or are hanging out with one friend over coffee, we need to develop an encouragement habit - that would be having an attitude of ministry, all the time.  Does that remind you of anyone you know?  Sunday School answer time, right here.  Yep.  Jesus!

He said to his disciples, recorded in Matthew 20:26-28,

"Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

And Paul says about Him in Philippians 2:5-8, inviting us to copy Him,

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!

Our Lord lived the ministry of encouragement and showed us the way.  He relied on the Holy Spirit to fill Him up and He spoke regularly with the Father.  As a result, He considered others all the time.  When we died on the cross, He gave us always-access to the Father through faith, and when we ascended, He sent the Holy Spirit to fill us.  We can rely on the Spirit and we can speak regularly with the Father, becoming people who look like Christ in the world: considering others and encouraging one another - whenever and wherever opportunity arises.

We're well on our way to the "hows" of doing this, so stick around for more!

I am so thankful you spend time here with me.