I was tired when I woke up this morning. I find that to be one of life's most frustrating things, waking up tired when there seems to be no reason for it. Humph! After one round with the snooze button, I dragged myself out of bed to brew the day's coffee, check the cell for messages, and settle into my cozy morning quiet time chair. With a pillow on my lap, topped by my notebook and Bible, I scribbled out some prayers, pausing occasionally to rest my tired eyes, wishing deep in my soul that I could fall asleep there and that the kids would snooze till noon. I got those lids to stay open long enough to finish my prayer thoughts and read through a Psalm and Proverb. God's Word is so good for the soul, even the sleepy one.
Still tired, but feeling hopeful, I forced my body out of the chair and up to get started with the day's "stuff." My little bundle of boy came down at "seven, zero, zero" on the nose; he's always up at least thirty minutes before he's allowed to leave his room! We talked briefly then went to get Katherine, who was making her morning coos and squeals. (Seriously, listening to her in the morning on the monitor is one of my favorite things!) Afterward, Brian went to try to wake Colin and Elizabeth so we could have breakfast together.
The morning was going just fine.
During breakfast, however, I was distracted by a million things and the kids wanted to talk to me (why?!) and kept annoying each other, and Katherine, well, she just makes lots of noise sometimes. After eating, Elizabeth started her morning chore of emptying the dishwasher and I was transforming into nagging-mom-of-the-year, getting more and more annoyed with her inability to keep working while talking with me. In the background Katherine was just plain obnoxious, incapable of entertaining herself and whining. What is she, a toddler or something? Ah! I was going to explode!!
I don't remember all of it, but at some point I came downstairs, (I think by this time the older two were upstairs taking care of their morning chart duties) and Colin said, "I think mom needs a vacation from the kids."
He wasn't exactly right, but he was on the right track. I needed something. That something was a deep breath, an attitude change, and to apologize to my children.
The truth about what a
lunatic selfish brat I was being stung, but that was how I was interrupted by grace. Grace said to me, Hey girl, let's not let this attitude dictate how the rest of this day is going to go. With me, there is forgiveness and a fresh start. A do over.
So when the kids came down, I apologized to Elizabeth, because she had born the brunt of nagging-mama. We started over and the day went far better than it had begun. I'm thankful for do overs today, and for these three children and how the Lord uses them to shape me every day.