Christmas Interrupted? No, Christmas for Real.

Yesterday sadness threatened the "Christmas cheer."  We received news of miscarriages from two couples, a total of three babies gone to be with the Lord.  My heart grieves with my friends as they walk through this encounter with the shadow of death during a time when, at least the songs tell you, everyone's chugging down cups of cheer and enjoying the delightful hustle and bustle of the Christmas season.

Prayer had me reflecting on how perfect a time Christmas is to be thinking about death.  Jesus, coming into the world to save His people from their sins, with a mission to see God's plan to its end - hanging on a tree to die, despised, rejected ... that we might have life.  In times of sorrow, what blessed assurance it is to look to our Father who knows grief and to cling to our Savior who entered into this world gone wrong in sin and death, pain and sorrow.  We can pray for our friends with confidence because we know the foundation of Christmas is unshakable Truth: God the Father, Son, and Spirit working out their plan to rescue mankind and one day make all things new.  We can grieve with our friends because Christmas reminds us that God knows that "it's just not right" for little babies to go to Him before we even get to meet them, for the old to waste away in hospital beds while death slowly consumes them, for disease to ravage bodies and rob them of their strength and, ultimately, breath.

At Christmas, God, in the person of Christ, became flesh and dwelt among us, experiencing all of life from birth to death, to satisfy God's wrath and express the depth of His love for His creation.

You, too, may find that this Christmas season is not full of cheer.  Perhaps pain, sorrow, or grief is threatening to crush you and others' smiles simply drive the knife deeper into your aching soul.  Turn to the loving embrace of our gracious, understanding, and tender Father.  He offers not empty cheer, but real hope and lasting joy that won't gloss over the painful reality of life this side of heaven and will see you through to the end.

May the God of all hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13  

Day 22: Child Bearing

I would invite you to pray that this post would be received just as I intend.  I've wanted to write about having children for a long time.  Not raising them, we'll get to that next, but the process of getting the children (or not) in the first place.  This is an area of heart ache for many women and couples; it can also be an arena of strife and discord for many couples.  I do not tread here lightly.  But I want to share a little about my experience and how God used my circumstances to change me and make me a greater instrument for His service through these childbearing years.  My growing conviction is that God has quite a lot to teach us about His sovereignty and trusting Him as we navigate this phase of life.

Our Story


For us, infertility was not the issue;  Elizabeth was a "surprise" and caused quite a stir for us emotionally.   We had these plans, you know, to wait until the end of graduate school.  Ah, plans.

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.  Proverbs 19:21

Elizabeth rocked the boat of our plans but, nevertheless, I was ready for another baby when E was about 9 months old, Colin was not.  Now, some of this desire sprung from pure motives for E to have a sibling, enlarge our family, and such.  But some of the desire was fueled by what others around us were doing and by a teaching I had heard while in college that if you didn't trust God and have as many kids as He wanted to give you, then, well, you were doing things "wrong."  I didn't want people to think we weren't doing what God wanted us to do!  (Hm ... maybe I shoulda been thinking about what God would have us do. But I just wasn't there yet.)


I was so very focused on having another child that it was detrimental to our relationship on many levels.  But during this time God was also chipping away at my hard, selfish heart.  (And thankfully kept Colin from kicking me to the curb!)  As I look back, the theme verse I give those three years of waiting is Romans 12:15:

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Because while I was longing and waiting (and whining about it to Colin and others ... a lot) "everyone else" with kids Elizabeth's age had or was expecting their second.  I had to learn that even when I was not getting what I wanted, I could (and should!) genuinely rejoice with those were were getting what I wanted.  During those years, I also walked through miscarriages with friends, learned of the prevalence of infertility, and supported friends caring for sick infants or grieving for babies they'd not see again till heaven.  Through that,  I was learning how to compassionately grieve with people enduring such pain.


The final thing I learned in this wrestling with sin and hope deferred, was how important it is for me to respect and submit to my husband.  He had very legitimate reasons for not following my plans for our life.  It took me way too long to get to a point of understanding and accepting the situation - talking about this makes me want to hang my head in shame and crawl into a hole.


But, oh, the gospel!  Jesus' blood covers over this multitude of sins against God and my husband.  Amazing grace, how sweet the sound!

Hindsight is 20/20

As God slowly drew my eyes away from myself and my idol worship, He enabled me to see the blessing of not having had a little one between Elizabeth and Brian.  There were so many ways I was free to care for neighbors and church members, because I was not caring for an infant.  We lived in university housing with many internationals and I was able to love and care for them more intentionally, welcoming them into our country and home, hoping to make their experience here just a little less lonely.

One great fear of mine that drove my "need" to have kids closer together, that God has more than addressed, was that our kids wouldn't have much of a relationship with one another if there were so many years in between.  (They're 4 years apart.)  At that point, I never imagined I'd be homeschooling.  How God guides our paths!  He's met a desire of my heart - that our kids have a relationship with each other - (despite all of my moping, weeping, and whining) by leading me in yet another unexpected direction.  Reminds me of a Proverb I read a couple of days ago:

A person may think their own ways are right, 

but the LORD weighs the heart.  Proverbs 21:2

For me, the overarching take-away from these child-bearing years is that God is sovereign and I can (and should!) entrust my desires, my present, and my future to Him.  Darn it if He doesn't have way better plans for us that we could ever devise!

*     *     *

So, there you have it.  God had plans for my life that involved dying to myself and learning to love my husband and others better.  How hard I tried to get my way, my way; how thankful I am that God would not let me or our family escape His plan!


If you find yourself in the midst of these years, whether with a bunch of small ones, difficult pregnancies, a sick child, or still longing for God to fulfill your desire for a child or more children, my prayer is that as you seek the Lord you will find Him ... and that you will find Him FAITHFUL.  Ask Him to help you entrust Him with the desires of your tender heart and to help you trust in His goodness, especially when life is not going according to plan.  For surely, His plans for you are greater, wiser, and more wonderful that you might now imagine in the midst of the busyness, sickness, longing, or waiting.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

His peace be yours today. 

This is Part 22 of a month-long series you can learn more about by starting with Day 1 here.  There are many others doing super cool series this month as well, perhaps you'd like to see the list?

Day 20: Shaping Circumstances

Wow, Day 20.  That is a lot of days of blogging for this gal.  If you've been with me since October 1, thank you.  I do pray that you're being encouraged and spurred on in the Gospel.  It has been a delight and challenge to me to think through many things that have been on my heart and mind over the last long while.

For many days we've been "talking sin" around here.  How much there is about our hearts that needs to be changed and how able and faithful God is to work in our hearts as we seek Him through repentance and faith.  As we study the Scriptures, pray, listen to the word preached, etc., the Spirit works in our hearts convicting us of sin, helping us to root it out, and planting His fruit there: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Another way that God works in our lives to mold us more into His likeness, shaping our faith and character into something more beautiful to Him, is through this business of living life in a broken world.  Walking through difficult circumstances often forces us to "abandon the clamor of self-will" and "become more ourselves than ever" - we find more freedom from sin and a deeper, richer faith in our God, that propel us into greater service to God and the church using the gifts we've been given.

That's what I want to talk about over the next few days.  To do so, I will have to talk about what I know.  My experience will not be the same as yours, but there may be some overlap.  There are many incredibly challenging or painful circumstances in which you find yourself that I have not and may never endure.  But I do want to and need to testify about how God has worked in some areas of my life to cause me to pursue Him with greater faith than I had before.  Specifically, I plan/hope to talk marriage, child bearing, child rearing, and times of transition (in no particular order.)

None of these are fully fleshed out just yet, but I trust God will take us where He wants us to go!

To close today, let me just say that the Good Lord knows exactly where you are right now - what's making you tick and what's got you at your breaking point.  I'm so thankful that when I write, I don't need to worry about making something happen in my readers' lives - that's God's work! - but I do want to help you remember and practice fixing your eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of your faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Hebrews 12:2

Till tomorrow, 

the LORD bless and keep you; 
the LORD make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; 
the LORD turn His face toward you and give you peace.
Numbers 6:24-26

Day 3: Why Rebirth? Because Houston, We Have a Problem.

This month I'm writing about the theme 31 Days of "Becoming More Yourself Than Ever" in conjunction with others who are doing 31 day series on all kinds of cool topics.  Check them out here.  For my posts, scroll down a couple of days to read days 1 & 2.

I had a very delightful and spiritually encouraging weekend with the women of All Saint's Episcopal Church in DC.  Elizabeth and I stayed with good friends and got to catch up with them, in addition to the Saturday retreat where I shared about the Servant Jesus and our call to service: loving God with all our heart, soul, and mind, and loving our neighbor as ourself.

Last night we drove home.  I was so excited to see Colin, my husband, and Brian, our little boy!  But by the time the kids were in bed and Colin and I finally got to talking, I. was. in. a. mood.   I was feeling overwhelmed at what needed to be done in the coming week.  We began discussing Colin's birthday plans for the coming weekend and they were changing and I was tired and didn't like the need to make changes.  And my "I have to have a plan and be in control" self started getting  more and more annoyed and Satan was surely getting more and more delighted that I was pulling away from Colin, not drawing near.  May Day!  May Day!

Surely you can relate to this.  It's like a washing machine stuck on a spin cycle - the "worry cycle," the "fear cycle," the "anger cycle" - spinning and spinning without any hope of an end ... unless someone comes and pulls the plug.  The machine will not stop on it's own, unless, of course, it completely burns out.

People, there is something WRONG with our hearts.

We are inclined to get stuck in never-ending spin cycles. We need someone to pull the plug and we need a repair man.

*     *     *

God was with man in the beginning, enjoying being in and with his Creation, especially his image-bearers.

Satan was there too, prowling around, and he whispered a lie: You will not surely die.  For God knows that when you eat of [the fruit of the forbidden tree] your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.  Genesis 3:5

In other words, Eve, you'll be like God.  He's withholding something from you.  Something you need to have.  Go ahead.   Eat the fruit.  No major harm could come from it, in fact, you'll be BETTER off.

Eve looked at the fruit, admired it, desired it, ... and ate it.  Adam was there and ate it too.

And something broke.  Harm DID come.  The relationships between God & man and man & woman changed.

Adam and Eve are embarrassed by each other's nakedness.
Adam and Eve hide from the Lord.
Adam blames Eve, who blames the serpent.

The intimacy of Eden is no more and no one is taking responsibility for his actions - it's someone else's fault.

*     *     *

Last night I was in a "mood."  I wanted to use it as an excuse to be rude to Colin and despair of the coming week, and that was somehow justifiable because I was tired, things weren't going my way, and if HE would just change or my CIRCUMSTANCES were only different ...

all this after having a wonderful weekend thinking about the Lord, being encouraged by His word, celebrating His goodness and faithfulness.

People, there is something WRONG with our hearts.

I took my eye off of my Creator and looked to the beautiful fruit of being control of my own life and god of my little domain and anyone around me.  You, too, take your eye off of your Creator.

Since Adam and Eve ate that fruit, our hearts are naturally inclined in this direction.  We want to be like God.  Romans 3 says no one seeks God ... we're all too busy trying to be our own gods!  Put all of humanity together, each trying to be his own god and god for others, and, well, it doesn't take long to realize why things are a big 'ole mess!

What can we do about it?

That would be a topic for another post.

"See" you tomorrow!

The Hidden Art of Homemaking

I've been running in circles where Edith Schaeffer's The Hidden Art of Homemaking is recommended reading.  I finally purchased a copy at the Women's Retreat in the beginning of April and have been reading through it slowly, one chapter at a time, though not daily.

I think I would summarize the book this way:  God is beautiful and creative; the people He created can and should reflect these attributes.  We can do so in our lives and our homes by tapping into the "hidden arts" with us, to the benefit of all who enter our homes and our lives,  and to the glory of God.

The first chapter is just wonderful, opening the reader's eyes to the beauty of God in his creativity and originality.  It's titled The First Artist and Schaeffer discusses God's creativity in ways I've never considered AND gently suggests that His image bearers need to express those aspects of God which are within us.  If you read no other chapter of the book, certainly read this one.

expressing a little hidden art
on our dining table

After that first chapter, Schaeffer explains what Hidden Art is in the second.  Her quote: I would define 'hidden art' as the art found in the ordinary areas of everyday life.  Each person has, I believe, some talent which is unfulfilled in some hidden area of his being - a talent which could be expressed and developed. (p. 31) The following chapters focus on specific areas of life and creativity - music, painting/sketching/sculpting, interior decoration, gardens/gardening, flower arranging, food, writing, drama, creative recreation, clothing, and integration - offering anecdotes and suggestions for expressing your own hidden art within them.

The final chapter is called Environment.  The content was different than what my 21 Centruy, "go green" mind  expected.  Rather than talking about taking care of the environment, she shares about the importance of taking care of you.  She says, we are an environment which is affecting people around us.  People who come across us or who walk into our presence, become involved. ... Whether we choose to be an environment or not, we are.  (p. 208)  It was a perfect end to the book, I closed it feeling inspired to be a blessing to those around me and to make my home place where people feel welcome and fed (physically, emotionally, and spiritually), because God has only given me my environment, namely me.  And I want to be a better steward.

My only criticism of this book is the title.  Formerly it was titled The Hidden Art.  Adding of Homemaking  led me to believe that it is a book only for women, and perhaps only women who are home all the time.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  She talks about roommates, singles, men, and women in her stories and suggestions.  So, if you're reading this and you are a person and you live somewhere, this book is for you!

Allow me to close with the last sentence of the book.  It goes without saying, too, that 'The Environment', which is you should be an environment which speaks of the wonder of the Creator who made you. (p. 214)

Blessings to you on this Sabbath day!

Becoming a Reader, as an Adult

When I was young, I read.

And read.

And read.

What a delight it was to complete the Anne of Green Gables series as a twelve year old!

Shortly after that, school got more intense and required large chunks of study and reading time. Reading for pleasure fell by the wayside as athletics, homework, and friends took over.

In college I read a little more, but my studies demanded so much reading, I was rarely interested in MORE reading in my free time.  But post-college I was able to rediscover the fun in reading!  Reading opens doors into new worlds and ideas to which we don't have access without literacy.  On our honeymoon (which was not long after graduation) I started Tolstoy's Anna Karenina; nothing like starting small, eh?  I've been reading ever since.  I even completed some books by reading while nursing Elizabeth in the dark hours of the night.

This morning as I chatted with some friends, I thought perhaps it would be helpful to share on the blog how it is I keep reading.  Life is not less busy with a husband and children.  How can we continue to read when life already seems so full?

Several years ago, I made a new year's resolution to read a chapter of a book every day.  If you're reading books with thirty chapters (give or take), that's twelve books a year.  That's quite a few books.  I have not kept up with this intentionally, but by the end of that year, the reading habit was ingrained!

This afternoon I began a book that is 252 pages.  The chapters are really long, so I can't do a chapter a day.  But if I commit to 10 pages a day, I'll wrap that book up before May is out.

See how easy it is to start a regular reading habit?

The other thing you have to do to develop your reading addiction habit, is decide that it's worth it to take that time to read, rather than something else.  You can easily read a chapter of a book in the time it takes to watch a sitcom in the evening.  Or you'd be amazed at how recharged you feel after reading a bit with a tasty beverage - I take mine caffeinated - in the middle of the afternoon; make the kids rest and you sit for a spell too!  You'll all be better for it.  The mornings might work better for you, so perhaps getting up 15 minutes ahead of schedule will allow you the indulgence of a good book.

In summary, to read more you need to do two things:

1. Decide how much you'd like to be reading
2. Choose a regular time for reading

I'm a non-fiction junkie, particularly Christian living or Bible teaching books.  You can see some of my recommendations in the Deepen Your Roots tab at the top or click on book/review tabs over in the column on the right.

Mondays

Last Monday I was thinking about Mondays, and their bad wrap as the worst day of the week.  Unfortunately, the day ended before I got to posting.  And it seemed strange to post about Monday on Tuesday.

This Monday, we're coming off of the celebration of the glorious, world-changing resurrection of Jesus by God the Father and looking forward to the observance of Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit was poured out.  AND we're also back to work, back to school, back to the daily grind.

How should we approach this Easter Monday?  How should we approach any Monday, since each Sunday we remember the resurrection when we gather for worship?

Yesterday our pastor preached on John 21 when Jesus reinstates Peter.  He pointed out Jesus breaking in with grace in Peter's life (after HUGE failure) by forgiving, calling, and sustaining him.  That same forgiveness, calling, and sustaining is ours as well when we lean on Christ.  Christ is merciful and He is present; we can have hope!

Should Monday, then, not be one of our best days?  Each week it follows a day of worship and rest, time spent reflecting on God's faithfulness and His mighty works, singing His praises, repenting of our sins, receiving God's forgiveness, hearing the word preached, participating in sacraments.  We reenter the real world aware of His promised forgiveness, calling, and sustaining.

Monday may be hard.  It is a day of reentry after a day of rest.  Okay, yes, Monday is USUALLY hard.  Our hearts surely long for that eternal rest when we've received our inheritance in full, as expounded in Hebrews 4.  But remember that verse from my previous post: In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines His steps.  The day may hold challenges, frustrations, unexpected troubles.  Or perhaps it holds expected troubles, difficult relationships, daunting circumstances.  The day may also include sweet moments of delight.  God only knows, and His plan is right and trustworthy as He determines our steps.

Whatever may come, don't forget that the Lord we worshiped yesterday is the same Lord today, tomorrow ... and every Monday!  He is near.  Call to Him in the troubles.  Ask Him to show you what He's up to in molding you to look more like Himself - often that happens most effectively in the "Mondays" of our lives.

May the joy of Easter ring louder in our hearts and minds than any of today's distractions.

He is STILL risen!

Alleluia!

Our Friday

We had plans yesterday, and we got to most of them.  But I've been impressed recently by this verse from Proverbs, In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines His steps. (16:9)  We planned a course, God added a little excitement to it and gave us the blessing of seeing how He's grown us up and has changed us, enabling us to handle an unexpected and challenging situation with grace and peace.

Here's how the day went down:

Phipps Conservatory and Target were on the morning agenda, with some lunch at Chick-fil-A in there too.  We were right on schedule!  But as I pulled into a parking space at the Conservatory, this happened:

Side note: I wrecked my parent's car right after I got my license when I was 16.  But that time I hit a wall.  This was my first "real" accident with another vehicle.  We did the whole info exchange thing and then decided, since the car was still functional, we'd try parking (again!) and continue with our morning as planned.

We strolled through Phipps.

We had lunch at Chick-fil-A.

We took care of business at Target: returns, intended purchases, unintended purchases.

I got a new purse, (unintended purchase.)

Home for rest time we came.  Brian was already out in the car, so Colin got him to bed.  Elizabeth and I wrapped some birthday gifts before she rested.  Colin and I were going to settle in for a show to unwind; we've been watching Psych through from the fist season on Netflicks.  Does anyone else like this show?  It's hilarious.

Instead we got into filing a claim online, watched a little of the episode, then I got a call from the insurance agency.  I'm so thankful there were people working on Good Friday; God bless 'em!

I was able to get the car to the shop; the door was so bent there was a crack at the top and it was predicted the weekend would be rainy.  The fellow at the shop was kind enough to let me bring it in for a weekend stay and lent us one of his cars for the duration.  We'll find out Monday what the insurance appraiser decides.

After dropping off the van, I learned that friends got an (I-cannot-exaggerate-how-long) LONG-AWAITED job!  This was a BIG highlight in the day; we had been praying and praying for them.  Shouts of joy!!

We never got around to the eggs, but our day ended with a worship service full of scripture and hymns.  We left in the dark after singing these lyrics:

Were the whole realm of nature mine

that were an offering far too small

love so amazing, so divine,

demands my soul, my life, my all

HAPPY EASTER!

Four Corners

A friend of mine expressed her frustration today at the futility of housework.  We clean up one day, it's a disaster the next ... or perhaps even before the sun dips behind the horizon.  This same friend - God bless her - has my elder child over for a playdate right now and the younger is sleeping.

Here is the photographic evidence that our family room was clean at one point today (not just picked up, also dusted and vacuumed!)  One photo from each corner of the room:

 Enjoy it folks; it won't last long!

But you know what?

A messy house is a lived in house; I don't think I want it any other way.

How about you?

A Week at Home

I anticipated taking it easy this week, after a weekend away involving lots of activity, late bedtimes, and new scenery.  Thus, I was prepared to move slowly and ease back in.  To accommodate the plan, both kids got sick.  I had the privilege of serving both of them by cleaning vomit, pee, and poop out of the carpet, (fortunately only one time for each bodily emission!)

Elizabeth was only sick for a day.  Do you kids have sickness patterns?  Mine do.  Elizabeth is usually laid out for a full day and back to normal the next.  Brian's my fever boy; that's how his body fights illnesses.  He's on fever day three, but appears to be on the mend.

I did not teach her to do this, but she is related to me;
sorting m&ms by color could be hereditary.

This boy LOVES mazes!  I got this wipe-off book at Target and he does them repeatedly.

Elizabeth taught him to do each maze with his finger before doing it with a marker.

We did get to some school work, played in the back yard, tilled up some soil, and had a picnic on the porch.  I sneaked out for separate trips (alone!) to the grocery store, Target, and the hairdressers.  Much TV has been watched, as well!  Honestly, I enjoyed having an empty, quiet week.  I got a little "spring cleaning fever" myself and have been trying to get some things organized around here.  I came back from the retreat with renewed vigor to make our home beautiful, and though I have no natural ability at this, I'm going to give Edith Schaeffer's The Hidden Art of Homemaking a read and go from there!

How was your week?

Good Thing It's Pizza Night

With preparations for the retreat talks this week, among other events, things have been piling up.

Maybe just a little too much; my counters and stove top tell the story.

TGIF!

Have a good weekend.

When I Look Back ... Calling on God for the Impossible.

Sometimes I used to make my mom come into my room at night, after I should have been asleep, to scratch my back.  I hated when she'd rub it.  It had to be scratched.

She would.


Now I know she was surely feeling the pressure of household tasks or simply the draw of crawling into her own bed.  But she took the time to scratch my back.

*   *   *

I spent a lot of yesterday barking orders at my children, getting frustrated at myself for not knowing what to do with their disobedience, then feeling worse because I always resort to yelling.  Yelling "works" especially well with Brian.  But I should be able to come up with something better than that. Right?  And oh, the rage that wells up within me when I'm defied.  Boy oh boy!

We also got out to do some sledding, had dinner at my sister's cozy home with her family, and I wrapped up the day with individual cuddle and reading time with each of my sweet ones (eventually falling asleep for a while in Elizabeth's bed with her.)  How precious!  And the icing on the cake: getting to be with my husband and hear about his algorithm troubles before finally succumbing to sleep for good.




That's life, isn't it?  The ugly mixed with the beauty.  The rotten stink of sin intermingled with the fragrant aroma of the true, right, noble, and praiseworthy.


It got me to thinking about what I want to remember about the years I had at home with my children.  I want them to be "back scratching" memories!  But right now I imagine they will guilt-filled memories, seeing only the times I blew it.  That will be horrible and it is NOT the way I want to remember.


A friend (thanks, Tom) asked this question on a facebook post today:

Are you calling upon the Father for the impossible today? 

I'm glad I read this before sitting down with my notebook and the Word.  What fuel for prayer!

What's the impossible in my life?  To stop being a yeller?  To be more kind and gentle?  To feel less guilty?

Yes.

But, no.

The impossible in my life is that I could live every moment, do every task, engage in every conversation to the glory of God.

Last night, my fear of the future, when I look back at my young mommy years, was all based on ME.

Yuck!

The Lord is gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love.  He wants us to fear Him, serve Him, love Him - with all our heart, soul, and mind.  And I'm pretty sure He's the only one that can bring this kind of transformation in my life!  (yours, too.)

Furthermore, as He changes us into true worshipers, I firmly believe that that nasty guilt, the ugly yelling, the habitual sins will lose their power.

Will you call on the Father for the impossible today?  My prayer is that God will make me one who lives for His glory.  How about you?  With the crazy self-love in my heart, it seems impossible.  But as Jesus said:

What is impossible with man is possible with God.

And Augustus Toplady in 'Rock of Ages':

Not the labor of my hands,

Can fulfill Thy law’s demands;

Could my zeal no respite know,

Could my tears forever flow,

All for sin could not atone;

Thou must save and Thou alone. 

Just Some Days, Just Some Ordinary Days

Here are some things that have been going on around here.  Sorry I have been slow in delivering posts.  It's not 'cause I'm not thinking!

My "little" brother had a birthday.  Can you guess his age?

Happy Birthday, Rob!

Elizabeth got an easel from Grammy and Grampy for Valentine's Day.  She's so excited about it.  "Fish" was her first painting ... for Dad. She's also been learning to knit.

 The weather has been LOVELY!  So we've been at parks a lot.  Brian's bigger and braver.  It's exciting to think about his 3-year-old summer and how awesome it's going to be!

 He's also been doing a little gaming on the DS.  And (poor child) I even sometimes give him little things to do while sister is doing school work.  Any creative ideas you want to share?  The "just go and play" thing rarely works!

As for me, would you pray for my preparations to speak at a women's retreat the weekend of April 8-10?  I'd really appreciate it!  I started working on it last night; at moments I was quite overwhelmed with the task - I have so much to read and learn.  I feel a little like E in the picture at the right.  Thanks for your prayers.

Dry Hands, Dry Hearts: God's Word in the Winter

My sandpapery knuckles and splitting cuticles painfully remind me that it's winter.  They also remind me that I need to regularly (read: 1,000 times a day) lotion up my hands if I want less pain and my skin to survive the season.

This got me to thinking about how a little daily maintenance can make a great long-term difference.  Here are some other life examples:

• putting our clothes into the hamper and drawers each day, rather than having a HUGE job come laundry day;
• picking up or putting away toys as you're done using them, rather than having to clean up everything at the end;
• getting the dishes done after each meal, rather than waiting until the end of the day;
• regular dental or medical check-ups, so we catch things earlier rather than later.

In all of these things, I often can't be bothered.  My excuses abound, then I have to endure the consequences of a little laziness here and a little sloth there.  It's painful - like dry, cracked hands that remind you that you could have done something to avoid it.

As I lathered up with lotion this morning, I got to thinking about how this applies to our spiritual lives.  Daily time in the Word and prayer with the Father is like balm for our souls.  Life may have us in the dead of winter: dry, dark, and cold.  But we can be filled with hope and joy: drinking form the fountain of life, letting God's light shine in, warming our self at the fires of His love.  The consequences of not doing this can leave our hearts looking a lot like dry hands or messy rooms.

This week, let's turn to God's Word when our cuticles crack and the temperatures outside make us groan with a longing for spring.  A little heart maintenance WILL go a long way! 

Cast your cares on the Lord,

and He will sustain you;

he will never let

the righteous be shaken.

Psalm 55:22

Why We Need Christmas

Throughout the Christmas season I have been thinking a lot about the Trainer family.  I met Mark at camp in high school and he went to my senior prom with me.  We recently reconnected on Facebook where I learned that his youngest child, only about six months older than our Brian, was battling a serious form of cancer.  I started following her/their story, written mostly by Mark's wife, Shauna, on caringbridge.org.

Sweet Hailey died in November.

My heart broke for them.

I have kept reading Shauna's posts at CaringBridge and it has been a blessing to me this Advent and Christmastime.  (Thanks, Shauna!)  Reading about their joys and sorrows during and since Hailey's death has reminded me why we celebrate at Christmas.

This world is a mess and God entered in!  He took on flesh; He walked our roads; He endured the sins of others; He showed us what God is like; He bore the penalty for the sins of man.  Christmas brought good tidings of GREAT JOY because the Savior was born.  All of the waiting was worth it.  The faithful looked upon the face of their Savior and rejoiced.  Mary pondered all of these things in her heart.

Christmas reminds us that God has not abandoned His world or His people.  He knew and knows our deepest need - to be rescued from sin - and He made it possible by the only means, becoming the sacrifice Himself.

In grief, though we feel we cannot go on, Christmas reminds us that God is near; He has a plan; He fulfills His promises; He will come again.  We may not know why God allows things to happen or does not answer our fervently prayed prayers.  But He is still God, and as our Loving Father, he can tenderly bear us through our griefs and trials.

I've never been as thankful for Christmas as this year.

Last night we learned that the father of a high school friend of Colin's died of a heart attack a few days ago.

More grief.  More death.  More pain.  More sorrow.

As we pray for this friend and his family (they lost their mom as well, not too many years ago) I have to think about heaven.  I have to think about my God, His promises, and  lean not on my own understanding, but trust in the LORD with all my heart.


He is no "grab yourself a cup of cheer" God.  There's no need to feign happiness when your heart is aching.  The pain in this world is real as real can be.  But the Christian knows he has a God who suffered, even unto death on the cross.  He knows our pain; He grieves with us; He holds us close and never lets go.  THIS is the hope of Christmas.  God entered in, and then He promised to come again, once and for all one day.  It is good news.

Come, Lord Jesus.

COME, LORD JESUS!!

What Should We Expect From Our Children? Part III

The last couple of days we have looked at what the Bible says to children and what the Bible says to parents.  As promised, with those things in mind, I'd like to put it together and offer some application.  None of the Bible verses give us really specific plans for training, instructing, or disciplining our children, so there will be great variety among families as to how child rearing looks.  The main goal, is that we think Biblically about what we're doing in our day-to-day interactions with our kids and look forward with a vision of what kind of people we want them to become.  Are we remembering our calling to train, instruct, and discipline them, or are we letting life and the never-endingness of it get us down and make us lazy in our good work?

Here's why I think this is important - a realization I had while preparing these posts - If we don't teach our kids these things, where will they learn them?  Children cannot be expected to behave in ways they have not been taught!  God designed the family and has put us in that position, to nurture and teach them, training them up in the way they should go, guiding them in the way of maturity.  Scripture tells us that the heart is deceitful above all things - children will not choose God's way, left to their own devices.  They need direction; they need parents; they need you!  You're the parent; BE THE PARENT!  Your children desperately need you to step up to this call.

What does that look like?

1. Develop your own relationship with God:  I cannot emphasize this point enough.  In your parenting, God's not asking you to always get it right, He's asking you to be faithful and to trust Him.  We learn to trust and obey, as the old hymn says, by spending time with the Lord in Bible reading and prayer.  As God fills us up, we have overflow to offer to our children and the energy to stay committed to training, instructing, and discipling them when the going gets tough.
2. Talk about God with your children: Read Bible stories with your kids; tell them what God's teaching you; share prayer requests and pray together; tell stories from your life of God's faithfulness and loving-kindness toward you; enjoy the beauty of creation together; explain to them how God's placed you in authority over them to train them, which sometimes means enduring natural consequences or other appropriate discipline.  (Just a few ideas to get you started!)
3. Be consistent in discipline: In this we help our kids to grow up in the command to honor and obey your parents.  It's a blessing to our children to set limits, establish expectations, and consistently train them in righteousness.  When they know the rules, they may be angry with the consequences, but at least they're not surprised!  Friends, this can be so exhausting - going over the same rules, giving another time out, talking AGAIN about how x behavior is no appropriate, sending them to apologize another time.  But this is training.  It's a marathon we're in here.  26.2.  No sprint to the finish.  (See point one on how we draw strength for this calling.)
4. Get connected to a community that supports you as a parent:  When I lived in Cambridge, I attended a Tuesday morning Bible study.  And while it was not a mommy group, there were mostly moms in the group.  I got food from the Word and also had a place to ask questions about what the heck I was supposed to do in specific situations (behavior, potty training, quitting thumb sucking, etc.)  And I'm not out of the woods, I'm still seeking out older counsel for guidance and hanging out with moms who have kids my age to delight in and grumble about our kids!

My thoughts here are in no way exhaustive.  I just want to follow God's way as a parent and encourage you to do the same.  May God bless you as you train, instruct, and discipline your children!  And may He increase your love for them as you watch them grow and develop; children are such precious gifts from above.  What a blessing that we get to grow up with them!

For further reading:

Anything by Sally Clarkson, but particularly Ministry of Motherhood

Grace Based Parenting

Boys Should Be Boys

For the Children's Sake

Boundaries with Kids

Any books you would suggest?