I'm blogging daily in April. Learn more about the series here.
This week my poor husband has been battling a never-ending headache. With the end of the semester quickly approaching, this is, well, a real headache! He needs to be able to be alert and focused, but he is incapable of either. And you know what has surprised me? I feel compassion for him and wish I could fix it!
Does that surprise you?
It should, because I think a wife loving her husband when he is having a difficult time should be a given. But it isn't always for me. I tend to be too much of a score-keeper. There have been many times that Colin gets sick and rather than think, Poor guy, I will go the extra mile to help him, I think, How convenient for him that he gets to lie in bed while I have to keep working, dealing with these kids, and keeping the house running. Humph. I don't even get to lie in bed when I am sick.
Over Lent, you might remember that I shared that I was going to go through the Love Dare to give up thinking about myself so much. I have been sporadically praying that I would be less selfish in my life and in my marriage. So this week, I have been interrupted by grace observing myself not getting bitter, proud, or mean in response to Colin's down week. I genuinely feel bad that he's not able to do what he wants and that he cannot shake this silly headache. Holy cow, could God be changing me?! Could it be that when we cry out, God comes to our aid and helps us navel gaze a little less and provides everything we need for life and godliness through His Spirit? Get outta town!
The most mind-blowing moment of the week came last evening. Because of a rescheduled Cub Scout meeting, both the big kids had Scout meetings. At some point Colin had committed to the Scout duties: dropping Elizabeth off at her meeting, attending Brian's meeting with him, and picking Elizabeth up on their way home. I was looking forward to the couple of hours of quiet at home to catch up on some tasks while Katherine slept and the others were out. Unfortunately, Colin had to come home early from work because he just couldn't focus on anything and wanted to try to rest the headache away. It didn't work. So he asked if I could take the kids to their meetings.
And just like that I said, "Yeah, I'll do that," without any annoyance or of-course-I-have-to-do-it sigh!
I couldn't believe myself! I was interrupted by grace that God had me in a kind and compassionate state. I knew it could only have been Him preparing my heart and helping me to be gracious. It gave me such hope! I know that there will be many self-loving moments ahead of me in our marriage, my parenting, friendships, etc. But what a gift from God to feel a moment of answered prayer and forward progress: Heather, there is hope. Do not despair. I am at work in your life and heart.
Thank you, Lord.
My friend, don't you despair either!
The Lord is at work in your heart and life.
Ask and you will receive.
Let's trust Him more today that we did yesterday, shall we?
By the way, I had so much fun at Brian's Cub Scout meeting! The boys each shared about collections they have - adorable. And we planted seeds.
***Hey, if you missed yesterday's giveaway announcement, check out the end of this post!***