Real Life with a Real God

If you're new to the blog, here's the story on my life right now:

My husband, Colin, is a PhD candidate in Cambridge, MA, (where we have lived for the last 7.5 years.) He will defend and hand in his thesis before May 21. Graduation is June 4. We need to move out by June 12; we are headed to Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh is where our families live. Colin will be working where we attended undergrad and we will live with his parents for at least a short while.

We have two children, ages 5 and 1 (will be 6 and 2 when we move). The younger prefers getting up by 5:30. every. single. day. We started homeschooling this year; a decision we're very happy with, but that demands certain attention from me, as you might imagine. And Colin is in full-blown writing mode. We see him for meals, but he's had to devote most of his time to writing. Meanwhile, I've begun to think about packing, throwing away, organizing, etc., and about the people I want to see and things I want to do before we go.

In the midst of all of this there is so much to be thankful for:

• Colin's going to graduate; this is a beautiful testimony to God's tender care for him and our family. (Contact me if you want the whole story.)
• We get to go be near family.
• Colin's worked at home, so we do see him more than if he stayed on campus. (Thanks, dear, I'm really thankful for this.)
• I'm sad to leave - this has been a sometimes trying, but WONDERFUL chapter of our lives.
• Many friends and family have offered to help us with the move and childcare to prepare.
• We can look back and know God was with us; we can look at today and know He is with us; and we can look forward and know He will be with us.

But folks, there are times - like this morning - when I find it very hard to be thankful. I want to wallow, complain, get people to extend me sympathy and tell me what a champion I am, and so on, and so on. Real focused on my belly button, if you know what I mean.

Seriously, Brian?! 4:45?!?! Doesn't that give me the right to be angry?

Well, once I got Elmo on for Brian, the coffee poured for me, and sat down with my Bible and notebook, I knew I had to give it up. I had to ask God to forgive me. I had to say thank you for so many things. And I emerge from some quiet time with a new perspective. I'm still tired, but not angry. There's still a lot to do, but I know I'm not alone.

I was thinking about how I long for some specific thing to fulfill me. It goes like this. "If I only had, like, 3 hours to myself - no kids, no interruptions - that would really make a difference." And yes, it likely would. for a time. But I know I'd be ready for another 3 hours pretty soon! Or "If I were only able to sleep until 6 every day." That would be nice; I might feel more rested. But, how soon would I be longing for 7?

Can you relate to this?

So this morning the Spirit brought to mind the Psalm that starts As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. (I didn't know the reference, so I did a little concordance surfing to find that it's Psalm 42.) Verse 8 says this:

By day the LORD directs his love,

at night his song is with me -

a prayer to the God of my life.

Here's what that means to me today. God has me right where He wants me to be, and He's present in every single moment of it, day and night. He is my closest companion as I support my husband, teach, train, & play with my children, plan for and begin packing, keep up on daily housework, etc, etc. This is what my life looks like right now. It is full, but with the Lord it is beautiful, not burdensome. I will be tired, but need not be weary. He is the God of my LIFE. The whole thing.

How are you today? Did you wake up in a tizzy like me? Do you feel your need for the Lord? Will you rest in His arms and be comforted by His constant and abiding presence? There's no better place to begin your day. I guarantee it!

Peace.

And It's Begun

Today is April 12.

We move out June 12.

Two more months. Two things that happened today:

1. I was filling out a form for an event in August. I put Pittsburgh, PA as my city, state.
2. I got the church nursery schedule for May and June. We are not on it.

Growing Up

This is my daughter, Elizabeth.

She is almost 6.

She's grown and changed a lot over the years,

as children do.

Almost 5

Almost 4

Almost 3

Almost 2

Almost 1

One day

A Little More Brian Fashion

Over-sized ballet flats with long shorts and collared shirt.

Batman jammies with blue sneakers.

Jesus Knew!

God demonstrates his love for us in this,

while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

It was just Easter. I didn't do anything specific to observe Lent. The time slipped by quickly, like any other 40 days. But God has His way of not letting His people sit idly by. A few things have been going on:

1. Our pastors have been preaching through the Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6.
2. I've been reading/studying the early chapters of the book of John.
3. My friend's sister died suddenly a couple of weeks ago.
4. The Spirit has been gently reminding me to choose forgiveness over grudge holding.
5. Resurrection eggs & reading the Holy Week and Easter stories with Elizabeth.

These things all came together to impress upon me the gravity of Good Friday and the glorious beauty of Easter.

I won't go into all of in here. But I would like to share what's jumped out at me from John. Throughout the first 6 chapters, Jesus begins his ministry and performs some miracles. They attract many and repel others. It's coming out that He's more than just a carpenter's son from Nazareth. There's certainly something different about Him. Everyone has an opinion. He's got a following.

What has stood out to me in this reading as more profound than the miracles, is what Jesus knew:

• 2:24 - "He would not entrust himself to them because he knew all men."
• chapter 4 - He knows the woman's life story, from the number of husbands she's had to her spiritual thirst
• chapter 5 - He knows what the Jews are thinking
• 6:15 - He knows that the people intend to come and make him king by force
• 6:64 - "For Jesus had known from the beginning (!) which of them did not believe and who would betray him."

That last one really got me. Jesus knew from the beginning (from the beginning if time) that he was going to be betrayed and by Judas. YET HE LET JUDAS EAT WITH HIM, WALK WITH HIM, REST WITH HIM, AND SIT UNDER HIS TEACHING, JUST LIKE THE OTHER ELEVEN, FOR ALL THREE YEARS OF HIS EARTHY MINISTRY. Who does that?!

Jesus was/is something much more than a really nice guy with great philosophical principles. He came into the word, as Matthew 1:21 says, to save his people from their sin. And to do so, he had to walk, talk, eat, sleep, and breathe with the very people who would betray him, turn their backs on him, sin against him. I don't know that I have the proper words to convey how this is hitting my soul. But I will continue.

JESUS KNOWS ME! And not just the stuff that I like Him to know, but the dirty stuff: the idols I worship, the times I blatantly choose to disobey Him, the jealousy, anger, bitterness, malice, hatred, selfish ambition, etc, etc, etc.

That's Jesus. Jesus knew and Jesus knows.

He knows me; He knows you.

He walked this earth with those who treated Him so poorly, but needed Him so badly. With a depth of love I don't know if I'll ever comprehend, He was determined to rescue us, that we may be drawn back to Him, in right relationship, for all eternity. THAT is what Easter is all about.

Jesus knew. He knew all the dirt on all the people throughout all of history, even those of us in the future, and he walked the via dolorosa to save His people from their sin. There was no other way than the way of the cross. It was that bad.

Then, gloriously, early on that Sunday morning, the tomb was opened, death was undone! And we can have hope that God is making all things new, through His Son, in the power of the Holy Spirit: God the three-in-one.

Perhaps today you wonder if God is angry with you. As my pastor has often quoted, "If you come to God, He will not be angry with you." Jesus drank the cup of His wrath, that through faith in Him we might have eternal life, eternal communion with God. Jesus knows exactly what's going on in our hearts and minds, and He's not afraid of our questions, fears, doubts, and anxieties. He will carry them; He will transform us. The Cross and the Resurrection give us the assurance. All He asks is that we trust Him.

There's no one else who loves us like Jesus, nor is there anyone who knows us like He does. Today will you repent and believe? You won't regret it; I sure don't.

Christ has died; Christ is risen; Christ will come again!

Boston Public Garden

Yesterday afternoon we went over to the Boston Public Garden to take in some of the early spring sights. There really weren't too many things blooming and the swan boat pond was still drained, but it was nice to be out in the warm weather! For those of you who are local, the swan boat rides start up again April 17, so the pond should be filled in the next week or so. We'll be heading back for a ride sometime soon!

The ducks had on their Easter hats!

The drained pond

Chasing bubbles!

Waving to the ducks

Watching the ducks

Ysterday was also the Pirate's home opener. They put on a good show for their fans, winning 11-5. Let's go Bucs!

Happy Easter!

The only shot I got of them dressed up. Thanks for the outfits, Grammy and Grampy!

Our brunch spread with many wonderful neighbors!

The girls in attendance. There were also three toddlers (Brian, Alistair, and Sara), but they don't sit still as long.