Homeschooling: I Will Not Be a Jerk About It

I read article today called The Tyranny of Socialization, and while I agreed with content, I bristled at the tone.  It's a tone I often find comes out when homeschooling is discussed by homeschoolers.  It's a condescending, holier-than-thou, "us vs. them" tone that lumps all homeschoolers into the "good" camp and schools (usually of the public variety) into the "evil" camp.  I find this quite troubling on several fronts:

1. Such attitudes don't represent me accurately as a homeschooler.
2. The "us" and the "them" are ill-defined categories.
3. Barriers are promptly erected that may prevent someone from ever considering homeschooling.

It makes me sad.  What saddens me is the reality that it's easier to be mean, condescending and make assumptions than it is to be compassionate, considerate, and ask questions.  (I know this because I know my own heart and what the Bible says is in our hearts!)  Naturally this happens from both sides, there are some "holier-than-thou" non-homeschoolers who look proudly down their noses at weirdos like me, making all kinds of assumptions about who I am, why I chose homeschooling, how my children will likely turn out.

But the fact of the matter is education will not save our children, only God can.  How does the Proverb go?  In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.  (16:9)

We need to make wise choices on behalf of our children.  We need to consider where they will receive the "best" education.  We need to pray and ask God for guidance.  We need to stay connected to our kids' lives.  Certain educational options may give our kids opportunities they won't get with other options, but the outcome of their lives is not entirely dependent upon where the attend school.  Our God is MUCH bigger than that!

I'm quite convinced that schools are not the problem with our children, home is.  Prosfessionals cannot do what parents need to and are called to do: nurture, guide, discipline, and protect their children.  Teachers (God bless them) train to instruct students in specific areas of study, not how to rear 25 children at a time for only one to six hours a day!  But unfortunately, somewhere along the line, parents have been told only the pros can educate their children. So from day one, we're convinced that we couldn't possibly provide what our kids need - we send them off to preschool for short periods of time as early as 2 years and 9 months!  On the flip-side, you could homeschool your children, yet do very little to nurture, guide, discipline and protect them, despite providing them a stellar classical education.

I will not let this blog become a homeschooling blog, the sum of me is much more than the way we've chosen for our children to receive their education.  (And for the record, I'm not convinced that I am the "best" education for them - but I am convinced it is the right thing at this point in their lives.)  Nevertheless, this blog is a place where I write about things that are on my mind for the edification of my readers.  I need to be human here.  I want you to know that I struggle with where I am right now, how to navigate the opinions and judgments that swirl around me and within me.

Homeschooling is a beautiful option for any family; I encourage you to consider it.  (It IS reasonable to feel that there's something not quite right with sending our kids out of the house for 6 hours a day at 5 years old!*)    But if you don't, I promise I will not be a jerk homeschooler about it.  I cannot follow Jesus and refuse love my brother.

If you are a parent, wherever you kids do or will go to school, my primary advice (that I've received from others) is to invest in your kids.  Study them: learn what makes them tick, how they communicate, how they feel loved, what breaks their hearts.  Nurture their tender souls, introduce them to the God of the Bible, guide them through difficulties and failures, let them be themselves.  Discipline them so they learn not only what is wrong but also what is right; discipline is not just punishment and consequences, it's teaching and guiding along the right path.  Protect them from things they don't need to see/hear/experience until it's appropriate, if ever.  Your children want and need YOU, even if they act like they don't.  Love them, right where they are, as they are.

With that kind of secure foundation, your little ones will always be able to find their footing, wherever their doing their math, reading, science, social studies, etc.  :)

I am thinking of writing a brief post about the most common responses I get from people when they learn I homeschool our kids: "I wouldn't have the patience." and "Oh, well, you were a teacher...."  I'd like to share my thoughts on these, because I feel the need addressing.  Stay tuned.

And, by the way, if I ever start being a jerk homeschooler to you.  Please, call me out on it.  Call me out on it good!

*We actually began homeschooling because our district only offered full-day K; it seemed silly to me to only have Elizabeth for the hours she was tired and cranky.  There were no wonderful, holy reasons here - only practical.  I find God often guides my way like that; I guess He knows how to speak to my heart, given that He made me!

April School Field Trip

Last school-day of each month we have special breakfast and go on a field trip to one of the many Pittsburgh attractions.  Today it was scones on china and the zoo.

The Pittsburgh Zoo in the Cold

We went to the zoo for our January end-of-the-month field trip.*

It was freezing.

I bundled the kids in their snow gear, slathered their faces with Aquaphor, and we had a great time!

parking wasn't a problem

pacing tiger, waiting for something

he kindly walked by this window, even rubbing his giant head against it,
like he wanted us to pet him

the elephants indoors

LUNCH!

got to see the polar bear dive in for a swim;
he too graciously swam near to say hello

the three baby tigers were out by the time we left!

The monkey house was CRAZY!

I think the animals are more fun when it's cold; my brother had mentioned this to me a while ago.  There aren't as many of them, but they're certainly more active than in the summer.  The Pittsburgh Zoo is really a lovely place.  If you come to visit, we'll take you along!

*A new school tradition we established this year is to take a field trip the last day of the month, preceded by a "fun" breakfast (ie: better than cereal).  It keeps me using our memberships and it's good to just have fun; school can sometimes get to be a little monotonous.

Quiet Times for Kids

Coming up to the new year, I was starting to get panicky about whether or not I was doing enough for Elizabeth regarding her schooling.  It's pretty irrational - she's developing and learning just fine - but these thoughts are a constant companion for the homeschooling mom.  Can I get a second on that motion?!

I had to keep telling myself something I heard Sally Clarkson say this summer and that you can find in this book: (I paraphrase)  If we're focused on nurturing and training their hearts, the academics will follow.  I had to keep reminding myself (over and over, in my moments of fear) that my primary concern must be loving training and instruction - not so much the details of different subjects.

To that end, I want to share a little idea with you, that I know I did not come up with on my own!  (Thanks, Lord.)

Since Elizabeth is reading and we got her a Bible in the fall (the NIrV - New International readers Version - with simpler vocabulary for the early reader) I thought maybe it was time for her to have her own little quiet time with God before beginning each school day.

We bought a little quiet time journal at Walmart and for each day I make a page like this:

Right now I'm giving her verses to read that talk about different fruit of the Spirit. So, for a couple of weeks she was looking up verses about love, now we're on to joy, and we'll continue through self-control.  Without planning to teach her how to write the date, find Bible verses, and practice writing, she's doing those things in addition to more exposure to Scripture and learning to pray on her own - my original hopes for this time.

And she LOVES it.  She likes feeling grown up - doing something mom does - having her own journal and Bible.  What a blessing it is to see her excited about her time with God - not feeling it an obligation like I did for so many years.  (Fuel for a future post!)

Now it's time for true confessions!  Would you believe that God is using this time to teach me a little more about being patient?!  I know, the opportunities are endless when you're a parent.

Sometimes it takes her FOREVER to find the verses she's to read that day.

For.

Ever.

I want to butt in and find it for her, hurrying along her time so we can get to the next thing!  (Sometimes I do set a timer for her just to help her stay on task, because my girl can get distracted easily.)  But it is so good for me to learn to let the girl take her time, maintaining her excitement about searching the Bible and her desire to write her own little prayers in her journal.  Seriously, how can you hurry someone in their quiet time?!  It stings every time I get impatient about it - which feels like every single day.  We're both learning!

Just this morning, I was looking forward to her reading through her prayers when she's my age!  Some of them are really sweet.

As a side note:  I'm trying to use her quiet time to read Brian a Bible story from the Beginner's Bible, so we're all doing the same thing.

What are some things you do to get your kids or family in the Word?  Do you know of any good Bible study guides or devotionals for kids?  Mine are young, so it's new territory for me.  Suggest away!

Reading

My daughter is almost six-and-a-half and really beginning to read.

This is SO MUCH FUN!

As our first child, she's our first reader, which adds to the excitement. Oh the possibilities that open us to us when we learn to read!

What I've learned over the last year and a half:

Learning to read takes a lot of work;

teaching someone to read takes a lot of patience.

This book has helped me to take it all in stride and let Elizabeth learn at her own pace.

These books really got E started confidently reading whole books:

Now we're going to try to read all of the Beginning Readers that the library has to offer!

Teaching someone to read is cheap! There's really no need for bells and whistles. BOB books are inexpensive. Using purchased or homemade flash cards are great for practicing sight words or word families. (I did a group of 5 - 10 most weeks throughout last year.) And the library has lots and lots of books - it's kind of their thing.

Keep reading good wholesome books TO your child, as well. This book is a good resource for quality, age-appropriate literature for the whole family!

Time for a cup of coffee and some personal reading time while the kids rest!

Homeschooling at Our House: a snapshot

Below you see me with my student, one who's being "formally" taught, and the other who's along for the ride until his day comes.

You may wonder how we spend our time. If you do, read on. If you don't, maybe look at the pictures and then scoot along to a more interesting blog. I won't be offended. Come to think of it, I won't even know. It's a win-win for you!

So here you go:

Each week I fill in a sheet that looks like this. The basics (reading, writing, math, bible reading) are filled in each day. Other subject matter may or may not have an activity for a given day. These little lesson plans keep me on track teaching Elizabeth what she should be learning throughout the year. I rely heavily on the book Home Learning Year By Year by Rebecca Rupp and picture books from the library. I did buy a math curriculum this year, Miquon Math; both E and I LOVE it! Other than that, it's kinda "fly by the seat of my pants" around here.

I also have a loose structure for our days that looks like this. The times I wrote in before we began in September, just to think through the whole day. We rarely start our day at 8; looking at that made me chuckle. We're usually going somewhere between 8:30 and 9am. This time outline primarily serves to remind me to spend time reading scripture to my kids, teach them hymns, and maintain some free time in our days; all of which I know are good for my kids' little souls, but don't need to be included in school lessons, as such. This approach is heavily influenced by Sally Clarkson and Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, and I stole the poetry idea from Kristen. I'm thankful for these women! (The hymns thing is me; hymns have always ministered to me and I want my children to move forward in life with deep, theological lyrics embedded in their memories. It's much easier to recall a song, sometimes, than a Bible verse or passage, isn't it?)

The only other thing we do that I haven't mentioned is a weekly nature walk - getting out to a park in the woods, walking around and soaking up nature. I hope we can maintain this through the winter, with the proper gear and a thermos of hot chocolate, of course.

We read a lot. And, my kids watch some tv every. single. day.

Because I get overwhelmed by (and pretty jealous of!) other homeschooling moms who are awesome and seem to really have it all together, I'm hesitant to share about what we do. But at the same time, I'm so glad when I come across a good idea that I wouldn't have known if someone didn't share. Catch-22, I guess. And I know, I know, no mom has it all together, no matter the appearance!

It's not on the schedule, but I do routinely lose my patience with my kids and boss them around using a voice with which I'd never address anyone else.

There you have it. A day in the life.

Off to a Good Start!

The school year has begun!

First day photos - Brian had to get in on it, too.

My kind and generous parents-in-law let us set up

my old desk in their dining room.

Homeschooling: chapter 2

Tuesday morning Elizabeth begins first grade: in the dining room, on the couch, in the kitchen - depending upon the task at hand.

I love this.

My heart delights that I won't wave good-bye to her as she boards the school bus; she'll wake up, have breakfast with the family, get dressed, brush her teeth, and then we'll sit to begin the school year together.

How did we get here?

If you click on the "homeschooling" label in the list on the right, you can learn a little about how we got started. The short story is that I began thinking about homeschooling when E was about 2.5. I never, NEVER, NEVER imagined I'd homeschool; I was a public school teacher in my former life, for goodness sake! But as E entered an age where I could do crafts with her, teach her things, and read longer stories to her; my heart said, Hey, this is great! Maybe I should teach her at home!

Without a clue where to begin, I read "Homeschooling For Dummies," got a little overwhelmed at all of the different styles, and shelfed the book ... and the idea.

When she turned 5, we needed to make a decision about school.

I read a lot more that summer and we settled on homeschooling, mostly because in Cambridge Kindergarten was full day (8:30am - 2:30pm) and it didn't sit right with me. Funny how God works, huh? If they had offered half day, we probably never would have started homeschooling from Kindergarten.

Throughout last year I learned, as I went along, the beauty of the homeschooling lifestyle. And that's what it is. It's a lifestyle. My kids are with me all the time, and while I do plan lessons, there's an attitude that life is our classroom.

Why are we continuing?

We currently reside in my in-law's home, in the best school district in the state. People think we're nuts for homeschooling.

We don't.

Yes, of course my life would be easier if I sent E to school and I know the teachers do a great job! But we've gotten the taste for home education, and we won't be quitting any time soon. You can read some about that here. I love the fact that E is not only learning the 3 Rs, but has free time to play and explore, develop her relationship with B, listen to good literature while we cuddle, learn hymns, and pray for missionaries. And mostly, I love that I get to disciple her through this crazy little thing we call life.

Am I always so confident?

N - O, NO!!!

In fact, writing this post is reminding me of why we homeschool. And my soul is dancing.

The last few weeks I have been plagued with doubt about my ability to get organized or teach my kids anything useful at all! But the Lord has us on this unexpected journey, and we're going along for the ride.

Your journey may have you at home, working, kids in public, private, or charter schools. Please, please, please be assured that I don't think you're a bad parent if you're life doesn't look like ours. I DO NOT. Regardless of where we find ourselves, let's remember first and foremost to rest in the arms of our loving Father, and seek His guidance in prayer and the Word as we raise these precious ones He's given us to nurture and love!

Old Sturbridge Village

We attended a homeschooler's day out at Old Sturbridge Village on Monday. They offer discounted adult admission and classes for kids for a minimal fee. Elizabeth chose to learn about old remedies, taken mostly from The Family Nurse by Mrs. Child (1837.) She learned how they treated bruises, coughs, stings, sunburn, etc. The best thing we learned was that they used honey to brush their teeth and the whole family would have shared one toothbrush. Nice.

For the record, their education center there is AMAZING! It's a huge cabin-like building with small areas for teaching set around a spiral of ramps and stairs. If you ever get a chance to check it out, please do. I was grateful for the ramps because they kept Thing #2 busy, as you can see below.

We arrived just in time for the class, because it was a rainy morning. After that we headed into the park and the day was just lovely! We didn't actually stay very long; I'd left the sunscreen in the car and E's feet got tired. But we were there long enough to see plenty!

This is a functional sawmill.

the blacksmith making ox shoes

calves

running to find more baby animals

lambs

chickens

a funny face

Can't leave without pumping some water!

Or getting a treat!

If you live near Boston, OSV is only an hour away, just at the intersection of I-90 and I-84. It makes for a great day trip with the family. Or you can stay at one of the local hotels and spend two shorter days in the village; your admission is good for 2 visits in a 10-day period. We've been several times and never been disappointed!