{Day 20} Interrupted by a Schedule Change

A person's steps are directed by the LORD.

How then can anyone understand their own way?

Proverbs 20:24

About a month ago, I made arrangements to spend most of today with the women of Fox Chapel Presbyterian Church at their women's retreat, leading a couple of elective sessions on prayer.  My cool brother had recommended me to the retreat leader, and I didn't want to pass up the opportunity, him having "promoted" me and all.  (Thanks, Rob!)  My understanding was that I would join them around nine, participate in the morning activities, and lead the prayer discussions in the hours preceding and following lunch.  I would be home by four, at the latest.

Over the last few days there was talk of trying to do some things after I got home, like visiting with a woman my mom knows who runs a children's home in Rwanda and just happens to be here in Pittsburgh right now!  Unfortunately, none of those plans panned out.  It just seemed like too much to add more into the day with me arriving back so late in the afternoon.

Everything was perfectly arranged.  I had all of my materials packed and was ready to go on time.  The kids were excited to spend their day with dad.  Dad had a fresh pot of coffee!  The ride up to the camp was  pleasant and uneventful (though it did include a little snow).  We had a nice morning session together and the first prayer meeting was delightful, such sweet women with whom to look into the Word.  Afterward we enjoyed a cozy lunch together and I got to know a few of the women over the meal.  Then Cathie went over the afternoon schedule.

Rather than directly after lunch, the second elective session was not scheduled until just before dinner at 5.

Uh-oh.

I was able to find one short strip of sidewalk where I got cell coverage and phoned Colin.  I felt terrible that I was going to be home three hours later than expected.  But the situation was what it was.  Thankfully there was no pressing reason for me to be home by four and the kids were in dad's good and capable hands.  I had the treat of a relaxing afternoon and extra time to visit with the FCPC ladies.  The second prayer discussion was as fun as the first.  And it was great to get back with the family after almost 12 hours away.

I was interrupted by grace as I recalled the above verse from Provebs that I had read this morning.  I thought I was on top of the day and "understood my way," but God had a slightly different plan.

A person's steps are directed by the LORD.

How then can anyone understand their own way?

Proverbs 20:24

Have a great Sunday!  See you on Monday.

{Day 19} Interrupted by 19

I'm sure you've heard the news today coming out of Cambridge and Watertown, MA.  I was shocked to pop onto Facebook this morning and see so many posts about MIT's campus, a dead police officer, and the bombing suspects wreaking havoc on an area we called home for many years.

Heartbreaking.

What caught my attention the most was the age of the suspect on the run.  Nineteen.

19 years old.

Does that seem crazy young to anyone else?

At the moment the word is that this teenager is holed up in a boat on some stranger's property and is surrounded police and various other law enforcement folk.

19 years old.

As I thought about this throughout the day, I found myself wondering about what happens in a person's life to make them willing to participate in crimes like bombings and murder at such a young age.  (Okay, obviously, I wonder about this for anyone of any age who murders, but this is what's on my mind today.)  Then I thought about my own children and sending them out into the world around nineteen years of age and the deep responsibility we have to sow righteousness in their lives, to be careful how I speak to them (tone and content), to teach them to hate what is evil and cling to what is good.  Romans 12:9b

I was interrupted by the grace of a personal history that is so full of joy, kindness, love, and hope.  I am extra thankful for that today.

I've just heard that this young man is alive and in custody.  Lord, have mercy; he's only 19 years old.*

*For the record, I don't believe his age should get him off the hook in any way if he is found guilty.  This is simply a reflection on his youth and how it startled me today.  What happened at the marathon and in the last 24 hours, all the death and injury is evil and wrong and so, so, so sad and awful.  Just want to make sure you don't misinterpret this post!

{Day 18} Interrupted by Missing the Middle

We had and 85 degree day here today.  Beautiful!  But beautiful days can really wear you out, all that sunshine and running around at the park!  I'm tired tonight.

I was interrupted by grace pretty early this morning, during my shower, in fact, when I realized we're already more than halfway through this month.  I missed the mid-month mile marker!  Only after I committed to writing every day this month did I realize what a crazy-full month it was.  I was a little scared.  Maybe you remember the {Day 2} "What if I fail?" post?

Well, so far, the Lord has given plenty of opportunities for reflection on His grace in my day-to-day.  He has been faithful.  That is cool.  I'm glad He interrupted my shower today to encourage me with a little, Hey, I told you so.

I like when He gives gentle reminders.  They keep me going.  You too?

G'night!

{Day 17} Interrupted by What I Want, and Don't Want

My life is very comfortable.

I find my heart often pricked with compassion when I think about how many around me cannot say the same.  The Spirit makes me squirm when I read verses about caring for the poor, needy, orphaned, or widowed.  Engaging in those things is not regular activity for me.

My life is very comfortable, and I like it that way.

But I have found the Good Lord convicting me of late that my comfort is not His end goal for me.

I don't even realize how much I love (read: cling to, adore, idolize) my comfortable little life, until the suggestion is made that I rock the boat by getting involved in something that might make me need to (gasp!) trust the Lord to work, to trust the Lord for wisdom, to trust the Lord for my all.

As I read God's Word, think about what He cares about, and let myself wonder what He might have for me, I can't maintain the status quo and also live a life of integrity, let alone say I love God.  And so we come to today's interruption.  It all started the day before yesterday, when I ignored God's direction.  

I've had this off and on relationship with a neighbor woman very different from me in life experience, socioeconomic status, and relational stability.  In the fall, it got to be too much for me, so I pulled back.  I've felt awful about it, but didn't do anything about it.  Coward much?  Yes, yes I do.  Anyway, the day before yesterday, I saw her walking in the neighborhood with her son.  Twice.  I did not stop.  Either.  Time.  I made excuses in my head and set aside the urging in my heart.

Yesterday, I could do so no longer.  So I breathed deep and sent her a text.

She did not get back to me until late in the evening.  She was needy.  I arranged to see her this morning.  So here I am back in the web of a nothing-like-my-other-relationships friendship, desperately wanting to share Jesus with her so she can know real life and peace.  The cry of my heart to engage with the people of my city is being answered in a real, practical way.  Yet already I think I've had enough, would like to take it all back, and run the other direction.  It's all so far beyond me.

None of it is beyond God, though.

As I inscribed a New Testament for her today, I was interrupted by grace as I considered that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God: those with comfortable lives and those without.  My friend and I are equals at the foot of the cross and there is Good News to share with her, a Good News that I need just as much as she does.

So here I am, caught between what I want for God's sake and what I want to run away from for my sake.  Would you join me in praying for my friend when you think of her?  Thanks!

How have you been interrupted by grace these days?!  I'd love to hear your stories too.  It can get boring only hearing my own.  ;)

{Day 16} Interrupted by a Prayer for Our Enemies

I sported my Red Sox tee today, the only Boston gear that I own that was proper for today's warmth.

I wanted to do something to stand in solidarity with those who are grieving, wondering, hurting, and/or angry in the hospitals, homes, streets, and subway cars of a city that is near and dear to my heart.  I caught up a little on the news stories throughout the day, particularly about little Martin Richards and his family.  Lump. In. My. Throat.  Elizabeth is eight.  And that dear husband and father, going from the high of completing the marathon, to grieving the loss of his son, wondering if his wife will make it, and needing to help his little daughter navigate life without one of her legs.  It's almost too much.

So I've prayed for them, for other families and victims, and for wisdom and guidance for law enforcement officials as they track down the culprits.

Yeah, I wore my Red Sox shirt.

Until the end of the day, no one seemed to notice.  At choir pick up, the father of Elizabeth's best choir friend did.  We had a brief exchange about "the incident" - his five (almost 6!) year old son was sitting with us, so we used discretion.  And here's where I found myself interrupted by grace.

He said his prayer in all of this senselessness is that God will work to soften the hearts of people who may be contemplating doing something like this in the future, to prevent them from doing so.  Talk about praying for enemies and those who persecute you!  What a beautiful prayer, expressing such a dependence on God to move, for God to be our rescuer, for God to do His great work of heart changing.

Yep, that interrupted me in the midst of my sorrow and anger at the situation.

Lord, we trust in you to change hearts.  It is a wonder of mercy that you changed mine.  We rest on Thee, our shield and our defender.  Amen.

{Day 15} Interrupted by Bombs

This afternoon little Katherine woke up early from her nap, giving us time to scoot out of the city an hour earlier than expected, avoiding rush hour traffic on the way to the airport to pick up Elizabeth and my mom who were returning from Orlando.  We used the extra time to stop at the mall on the way and play at the children's play area.  That was fun!

After about an hour of play, we made our way to the airport, parked, and went into wait at the baggage claim.  It was so good to see those two again!  Naturally, Brian annoyed his sister the majority of the way home.  (He really missed her!)

Part of the way home, I got a text from my sister that read, "I hope all of your Boston friends are okay :("  Since I was driving I called her to find out what was going on.  She filled me in briefly on the bombing situation.  :( , indeed.  Horrific.

2008 Boston Marathon
Popping across the river to see it was a yearly tradition!

It's disturbing (interrupting!), isn't it, how we can be going about our days in one part of the world and life is all joy, while in another place, (maybe even next door) great suffering and tragedy have taken over?

A few days back I was struck by verse ten of Psalm 97:

Let those who love the Lord hate evil,

for he guards the lives of his faithful ones 

and delivers them from the hand of the wicked.

I reflected briefly on it in my journal, the general idea being that I don't know how to interact with evil - how to react to evil when I encounter it - especially in remote situations, everything from exploitation of the poor to dramatic one-time occurrences like what happened in Boston today.

Today reminds me that the only place of real safety is in the arms of Christ.  And I can trust Him, as well, to help me process the evil I see around me and the evil I find inside of me.  He's well aware of it; rescuing His people from it is what took Him to the cross.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.  John 16:33

That grace always interrupts me, even more so in the middle of disturbing interruptions in normal life, like today's.

Thinking of the people of Boston and the wider running community tonight.  We're waiting for you, Lord.

{Day 13} Interrupted by Feeling at Home

How has your Saturday been?

Mine was people-full.  Very lovely.  But wow, have I felt drained this evening!  This girl is somewhat introverted, believe it or not, and I have a cold that is not completely interested in departing my being yet.  In fact, I spoke this morning at our annual women's brunch and was slightly concerned that my voice would not make it to the end.  I sound pretty funny today, especially when I try to laugh or sing.  Thankfully, my voice made it through the talk and the rest of the day.  I'm glad I can type this, though, giving my throat a much-needed rest.

Given my currently depleted energy, I'll be brief tonight.  Oh yeah, I'll also be brief because I don't have any  riveting interrupted by grace moments to share.

But since I *have* to write something, I'll say this: as I spent time with people today, I felt really comfortable.  Most of the folks I was with today were church folk, at the brunch this morning and a birthday party this afternoon.  I love all those people!  But it was not always that way.  In June, we'll observe the three year anniversary of our move back to Pittsburgh.  The transition was long and hard.  My identity was shaken when I was uprooted from so many comfortable and familiar relationships and roles.  My insecurities ran rampant and impeded potential relationships; I spent so much time comparing, judging, not being free to be me and let others do the same.  It was hard. It was lame and silly, too.  I know.

So being able to rejoice today at being comfortable is a testimony to God chilling me out and settling me a little more into His mercy.  And as we think about a move this summer to a new town and new people, I'm thankful for the recent memory of how-to-do-a-transition-wrong.  It gives me hope that maybe I will be able to dive into this change with more grace and faith.

I fear I'm losing my ability to be coherent.  So tonight, that's it.  Time to finish up this hot, soothing tea and get to bed.

Have a blessed Sunday!  Let's meet up here again on Monday.