Life has been threatening to undo me.
My lists are too long, my expectations too high, my hormones too unstable, my brain too small, my body too weak.
My God, however is big. So BIG. There's nothing my God cannot do.
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Yesterday morning I had to cling tightly to Jesus, intentionally, on purpose, with great determination. Why? Because what I wanted to do was hold worry's hand and let him lead me into despair's black hole. I wanted to give in and give up; I look around at all of the piles and unfinished projects, how I'm not living up to my own expectations, how I'll never catch up. Rather than fight, I wanted to flee.
But the Gospel tells me that my worth is not determined by how "on top of things" I am, by how I'm meeting my expectations, by how much or how little I accomplish in a day, a week, or a month. To believe this, I need to cling to the cross, to my Jesus, my Savior, my Lord. He alone can conquer the lies within me and lead me into the freedom to pursue (with joy!) whatever task I am able to do at a given moment. He alone can remind me to lay things in His hands ... and enable me to do it.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
That was God's word to my heart as I spoke with Him yesterday. So, I chose the tasks that seemed most important, focused on them, and left the others aside. I went to bed with a huge pile of dishes next to the sink, a family room floor littered with "life," and an impossible amount of things left on my mental list. But the patio was weeded (special thanks to my husband for all the yard work he did this weekend!), the kids end-of-year photo album photos selected, cupcakes baked and iced for E's party today, and a friend visited at the place she's been interning this past year, to see her work. Thanks be to God for redeeming the day with the reminder to concern myself only with the day before me!
Give us this day our daily bread. Matthew 6:11
This morning I woke feeling rested. Haaaa-lelujah! And as I sat and chatted with God, He brought to mind the phrase my heart and my flesh may fail. I knew that came from scripture somewhere, but could not remember the rest of it. Biblegateway filled in the rest for me:
My heart and my flesh may fail, BUT GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26
Yes and Amen!
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Friend, what fears, doubts, or worries grip your heart today? Look 'em in the eye, tell them they have no place there, and cling all the more tightly to Jesus and His promises. Ask the Lord what word He has for you and let Him take you from there. Your heart and your flesh will fail, but the Lord? Well. He doesn't.