Day 18: Unwholesome Talk

I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.  Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever.  So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.  ~Jesus, (John 8:34-36)

Thank you, Jesus, for telling us the truth - the truth that we're worse off than we ever imagined, but that your grace is greater than we ever imagined!

For we were dead in our transgressions, BUT GOD who is rich in mercy, has made us alive with Christ.   Ephesians 2:4-5, paraphrase 

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. BUT NOW he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.  Colossians 1:21-22 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!  ALL THIS IS FROM GOD, who reconciled us to Himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. 2 Corinthians 5:17-19a

For the last while, we've been talking sin and talking it in the context of the Good News ... the only context in which we can really look at our sin, admit it, and be freed from it.  Like clay in the potter's hand, the Lord molds us in the here and now for eternity with Him, shaping us into what He intended for us in the first place by smoothing out the rough places, transforming our hearts from stone to flesh.  In His hands, we are no longer shackled in slavery to sin, we serve a new and living Master who has plans for us!  More on the plans toward the end of this series, though.  For today, let's talk a little about our tongues.

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I talk a lot.  Sometimes in a conversation, even I am thinking, why am I still talking? You know it's bad when the person talking thinks it's gone on long enough ... imagine the poor soul listening.  The life of a verbal processor can be an embarrassing road.  I often long to be like my husband who can sit in a room alone and think and actually make sense of his thoughts.  And he married me.  God bless him!

But, though we should be growing in both self-control and love for others as we walk with Jesus, talking a lot is not the theme for today.  Our concern is the content  of our speech.  WHAT are we talking about?

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  Ephesians 4:29

Unwholesome talk can take on many forms: gossip, dirty jokes, impatient command-barking at our children, criticizing another, lying, grumbling, complaining, angry outbursts, etc.  We're all guilty.  You know how I know?  Because the Bible, the Word, tells me so:

You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. Matthew 12:34 

But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.'  For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.  Matthew 15:18-19

In addition to these statements of Jesus', the gospels speak often of Him knowing what's going on in the hearts of those coming to Him, whether with impure motives or in faith.  He knows our hearts are full of darkness and the nasty, rotten fruit is revealed through our speech.  As I mentioned with anger and lust, there's no real thought that goes into having angry or lustful thoughts; they're just suddenly there - uninvited, but there none the less!  Out of the overflow of the heart....

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Yet again, we find ourselves at the foot of the cross, asking Jesus to change our hearts.  He is willing!  The Spirit lives within to help us.  "Good fruit resources" abound to fill up the space left behind when we, by God's grace, have plucked out a piece of rotten fruit from our hearts.

Check out this post from the annals of Life in the Valley and consider what you're "storing up" to God's glory, that streams of living water might flow from you!  And, hey, why not give the devil a little kick in the shins TODAY by making a point to intentionally say some "building up" things to folks you encounter: the grocery clerk, your spouse, a co-worker, a friend, your child, your roommate, or a complete stranger.

This is Part 18 of a month-long series you can learn more about by starting with Day 1 here.  There are many others doing super cool series this month as well, perhaps you'd like to see the list?

Day 13: Pausing to Catch Our Breath ~ or ~ Where Are You Going With All of This, Heather?

Today I'll be brief-er than usual.  I want to give you a sense of where I'm going with all this "sin stuff."  In the last few posts I've talked about: worry, fear, envy, discontentment, and anger, not terribly fun, but necessary things to talk about.  They're all addressed in the Bible as sins that need to be rooted out of our hearts.  We'll get into some others in coming days: judgmentalism, greed, lust, pride, laziness, etc.  

But the Bible also talks about new fruit growing in our hearts, the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  The good Lord, who gives the Spirit (please read my friend, Kit's, post from yesterday on the Spirit), promises us that with the Spirit at work in us, His fruit will be increasing in our hearts.  When we get glimpses of God's fruit replacing the fruit of the sinful nature in our hearts, we can rejoice, praise, and give thanks, and more so when we're keenly aware of the sin within us that is being replaced.

The Good News of the Gospel is not only escaping the punishment for our sin, but also being drawn more and more into the likeness of Christ.  That leads to things that will be common to all Christians: loving God and their neighbor more.  But it also leads to things that will be particular to you, for God knit you together just as He saw fit and with particular purposes in mind.

Throughout the rest of the month, I'll lead us through several more sins/sin patterns, share about how God can use certain circumstances to mold us, delve a little into the fruit of the Spirit, and wrap up with a little chatter about calling.  Anything specific that you'd like me to address in these contexts?

The launching pad for the month was this quote:

When [God] talks of [Christians] losing theirselves, He only means abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back their personality and boasts (I'm afraid, sincerely) that when they are wholly His, they will be more themselves than ever.  ~ C.S. Lewis, Screwtape Letters

And Paul said to the Romans:

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I pray that as you're rooted and established in God's love, He strengthens you to abandon the clamour of self-will and increases your desire to see His will.  May the words posted here be of encouragement and assistance to you in the journey.  Our God is able to immeasurably more than we ask or imagine! (Ephesians 3:20)

Have a GOOD day!

The Greatest Commandment, the Second like it, and Your To-Do List

I love, love, love writing lists!  There are usually three or four - in my horrid handwriting - strewn across the kitchen table, several hanging on the cork board on the wall, a few actually typed into computer documents - like ideas for Christmas or birthday gifts I don't want to forget when the time comes.

Lists.

I love 'em!

A list can be a blessing or and a curse.  They are a blessing, helping me not to forget important things that need to be done or tended to.  They are a curse, reminding me of all I'm not accomplishing ...  sometimes turning me into a get-it-done beast, focused only on her own agenda and plan.

This coming weekend I have the privilege of being with a group of women from my friend's church in the DC area, who have invited me to come share the talks that I gave last Spring at the Women's Retreat in Boston.  The topic is service, specifically looking at the Servant Jesus as our Savior, Example, and the One who Empowers and Equips us to service.  In said talks, I define service using the two greatest commandments from Matthew 22:

³⁴ Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. ³⁵ One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: ³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

 ³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

This got me thinking the other morning about my attitude toward my to-do list.  Really, a list is a wonderful thing, aiding focus, helping us to remember, and Oh! the satisfaction of crossing something off the list ... ah, the sense of accomplishment!!!  (mental image:  Heather twirling in delight, clutching her completed list to her heart.)

But I digress.  Sorry about that.  Let me pull myself together here...  Okay, ready.

What occurred to me was something like this.  What if each task on my list began with this phrase:  Love God and love my neighbor as I ... ?  So the list is transformed from:

• meals and grocery list
• grocery shopping
• organize materials for science projects
• prepare dinner for community group
• iron
• call Gram

to something more like this:

• love God and love my neighbor in writing my weekly meals and grocery list
• love God and love my neighbor while grocery shopping
• love God and love my neighbor while organizing the science stuff
• love God and love my neighbor while preparing dinner for community group
• love God and love my neighbor while ironing
• love God and love my neighbor when calling Gram

Puts a whole new spin on it, doesn't it?  Suddenly those talks are taken from the temporal to the eternal.  No longer is the purpose simply checking the item off the list, rather it's infusing the tasks with greater importance and weight that we've ever given them.

SooooOOOOoooo, how long is your list?

How many opportunities does God give us each day to love Him with all our heart, soul, and minds, and love our neighbor as we do ourselves in the midst of them?

For example, if my goal is not simply to cross "school" off the list each day, but rather to honor God and my children through it, then I can be patient with Elizabeth's questions, take the time to come up with activities to do with Brian while Elizabeth is working independently, not fret when we have to change the schedule because something took longer than expected, and take interruptions in stride.  I am prompted to think more about the tone I use, the effort I put in, the fruit of the Spirit God wants to grow in my heart.

Take a look at your list(s), and may God use even those tasks to work out His purposes in your heart and mind as you seek to love Him with all your being and to love your neighbor as yourself this week, and next week, and the week after that, and ... .

Have a great week!

Servitude

I'll be speaking at an up-coming women's retreat for our former church Cambridge.  The topic is service - thinking along the lines of what it meant for Jesus to take on the form a servant (Philippians 2:6), what we're called to as Jesus followers, and how God equips us to serve.

I spent some time early this week studying that Philippians 2 passage and it's really been messing with me.

In a good way.

But messing with me, nonetheless.

Exhibit A

Here's the thing that's getting to me.  I don't mind serving people.  Really.  If you've ever read Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages, acts of service is pretty high for me (along with gift giving ... and receiving!)  But it has come to my attention that I have service "conditions" that apply boundaries to my willingness.

For example, I might be willing to serve my children all day (that's a stretch, but for the sake of illustration...), but if it's after 8pm.  Forget it.  They should be asleep - see Exhibit A to the right - and I reserve the right to yell at them and speak impatiently (read: meanly) and slam doors in frustration, because they are not holding up their end of the bargain.

Or, I might be willing to make a meal for a needy family at church, but if another opportunity comes up too, it's certainly justifiable not to make two meals in one week.  No one would fault me that, right?

Dare I even get into the conditions I put on serving my husband?

I won't.

You've got the gist.

Lord, I'm willing to serve up to a certain point.  But you certainly understand if this thing is just beyond what I think you should expect of me.  I'm no longer responsible if I'm too tired, to stretched, or too whatever.


Then I look to the Savior who

did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but took on the form of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance like a man,
he humbled himself,
and was obedient unto death -
even death on a cross.
Philippians 2:6-8

I don't have to die for anyone's sins.  Neither do you.  But if we call on this Savior, if He is the Lord of our life, there are no bounds to what He might ask us to do.  Will we be willing?  Will we say 'yes' and watch Christ be strong in our weakness?  Will we die a little more to self today and let Christ increase?

These are the questions I'm asking myself.  I thought I'd share, in case you wanted to think about them to.

This is about faithfulness and trust in relationship with God, not guilt, so I'll close with this encouragement:  God does not call us to anything He will not equip us to do.  Forget not that He is a loving Father, who wants us to share in His holiness. And further, that Christ sent the Spirit,  the very Spirit that lives in us if we've put our trust in Jesus, the Son, who gave Himself as a ransom for many.  It's good news, friends, good news that frees us to love and serve, just as our Master did!

His peace to you today.

On Gentleness

If I were interviewing for a job and was asked to use three words to describe myself or my strengths, gentleness would not make the list ... probably not even in the top 50.

• I am quick to speak & slow to listen.
• I go from calm to crazy in -5 seconds, when the right buttons are pushed.
• I hastily judge people, without giving them a chance.

Do you still want to be friends?!

Don't answer that.

So, my quiet time a few days ago led me into a word search on gentleness. I confessed to God how harsh I am with Elizabeth if (when?) she comes out of her room after bedtime - not to mention other times. Having been forgiven, the world gentleness came to mind.

Gentleness.

I know, as perhaps do you, that it's part of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). I wanted to know more, checking my concordance for some other verses that include the word gentle or gentleness. Here's what I found. (I've linked to the verses, to shorten the post.)

Prov 15:1 - gentle answer leads to good - harsh word leads to bad

Zec 9:9 & Matt 21:5 - Our Lord came gentle and riding a donkey when he entered Jerusalem a week before his crucifixion.

Matt 11: 28-30 - Jesus calls himself gentle and humble in heart and tells his hearers rest is found in Him.

I Pet 3:4 - The internal, unfading beauty, of a gentle and quiet spirit, is of great worth in God's sight.

Col 3:12 - God's people, chosen and loved, should clothe themselves in gentleness, among other things.

I Tim 6:11 - Paul exhorts Timothy to pursue gentleness in addition to big holy things like righteousness, godliness, faith, etc.

I Pet 3:15 - Believers must be ready to give an answer for their hope, but in gentleness and with respect.

Here are a few of my conclusions:

1. Followers of Christ should grow in gentleness as they mature in faith; our Savior is gentle and we have His spirit in us to cultivate the fruit of gentleness.
2. Gentleness is good for relationships. Others are blessed as we give gentle answers: our kids, our husbands, our neighbors, our enemies.
3. Since a gentle and quiet spirit is of great worth in God's sight, I want to pursue gentleness. I love that it is an unfading beauty (see the I Peter 3:4 link). We're going to get older, saggier, and wrinklier, but we can invest ourselves in unfading, inner beauty that pleases God. Cool, huh?

I don't know exactly how I'm going to grow more in this gentleness thing, but since God brought it to mind, I have a *funny feeling* He'll provide me with plenty of opportunities to practice.

It will likely involve a lot of repentance.

Praise God, His grace never runs dry. Phew!

Any thoughts on gentleness you'd like to share with a fellow sojourner?