I had high hopes for May. April was full. May promised to be calmer, more subdued, a respite.
Ha ha ha. That was a nice little joke you played on me, May, pretending like you were not full and then going and getting all booked up. Sneaky little month that you are, unassuming with your short name and beautiful flowers and weather.
I kid. But really, lately I've been feeling the pinch. I am behind: behind on basic household tasks, behind on long-term projects, behind on relationships. Behind. And now we've added a move to a new town to the end of the summer and a house search. I can feel my behind getting more behind. (That's a funny sentence. You can laugh.)
The last few days have had their ups and downs in my wee little head. I get excited about the wonderful things going on then overwhelmed by the wonderful things going on. I need to find some balance or I'm going to end up in the loony bin before we even get to our new home!
In my clearheaded moments, I know exactly how to stay balanced: Ground your feet firmly in the Word of God and wrap your arms around your Savior, girl. In my confused moments, the scales tip into a wild grasping at mirages of hope offered to me by frustration, sorrow, fear, or any other way I try to get "control" over the situation.
Ground your feet firmly in the Word of God
and wrap your arms around your Savior, girl.
This morning I read these oh-so-descriptive-of-me words in Psalm 119:5-6.
Oh that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees,
Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands.
Boy, am I put. to. shame.
Later, in verse twenty-four, the Psalmist says:
Your statutes are my delight;
they are my counselors.
Isn't that a beautiful image? Knowing God's statutes and having them sitting around me to advise me, as counselors (and like a fortress of protection). God's way is right. His paths are righteous. His directions for us are perfect, showing us how He intended for us to live and move and be in this world. These statutes are my counselors.
So when I consider my fretting and turmoil about the full-ness of life and my inability to handle it all, I can think about my counselors. For example, Jesus said things like, "Don't worry because God's in control and cares for you." God's Word and will for me is to trust Him ... not to try to be Him by trying to understand everything or anticipate every outcome.
And the Good News, the Gospel that Christ came to save sinners and died and rose again from the dead, is more than enough proof of the Lord's love, faithfulness, and trustworthiness. (And that doesn't include a single one of the providential ways He's worked specifically in my life - or yours - since the days we were born!)
So I wonder, are you with me this May? Does life seem like it's a little too much? Are you ready to throw in the towel and go live in a cave? Do you believe the lies your idols offer in the form of escape, control, or both? As an alternative, we can delight in God's law. We can consider these our counselors. We can trust the only One who has proven Himself 100% trustworthy. Let's set our hearts and minds to His frequency. I mean, really, why do we keep trying to act like we're trustworthy with our own lives!
I'll close with a few other verses I read this morning, Proverbs 8:17, 34-35. Wisdom is speaking.
I love those who love me,and those who seek me find me.
Blessed is the man who listens to me,watching daily at my doors,waiting at my doorway.For whoever finds me finds lifeand receives favor from the Lord.
Have a lovely evening. God bless you as you seek Him.
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