Thoughts on Hospitality

Like a parent trying to squeeze in final instructions to a child about having fun and staying safe before he/she rushes out the door, the Apostle Paul often closed his letters to the New Testament era churches with strings of commands.  Here's one instance, from Romans 12: 9-13.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

These lists are always interesting.  For example, here the first several verses seem to be such weighty reminders: loving sincerely, hating evil, clinging to God, honoring one another, serving the Lord zealously, joyful hope, patient affliction, faithful prayer, sharing with the needy.  Then he closes the paragraph with practice hospitality.

I think it is important to note that this is not a list of spiritual gifts.  Paul instructs all the Roman Christians to practice hospitality.

Quickly one's mind can rush to the images on the cover of home magazines with beautifully laid, seasonally-themed tables: matching glasses, cloth napkins in rings, a stain-free tablecloth, a perfectly browned turkey, a mosaic of fruit on a tray.  So inviting!

But is this what Paul is talking about when he instructs us to practice hospitality?

Let me highlight that rarely are there any people in these magazine photos.  So the table is beautiful, but is the host or hostess willing to have the tablecloth stained, joyfully do all of the dishes, allow anyone who comes to sit at the table?  Will there be fellowship, joy, and laughter around that table?  Does being hospitable mean that our table has to look that amazing before we can have people over, that all of our home improvement projects need to be done, and that all of our stuff needs to be perfectly organized?  What does it mean to practice hospitality?

I learned a lot from my mom about hospitality growing up.  I have since also drawn from Sally Clarkson and Edith Schaeffer's thoughts on the subject.  Here are just a few thoughts to encourage you not to gloss over, but rather to take seriously Paul's command to practice hospitality.

Hospitality is about relationship!  Giving the people that come into your home - owned or rented, single family or apartment, dorm room or mansion - an environment where they can breathe easy, be edified, and sure, enjoy a treat and something to drink ... that is hospitality!  Create a space where people can walk in and know that you are glad they're there, making them feel loved and cared for, whether you knew they were coming over and have time to set a beautiful table and make something homemade to eat or they arrived unexpected and you make a pot of coffee and put some store-bought cookies out for consumption.

If you know guests are coming, you could prepare a welcome sign for the door.
Your kids can help!

How can you use your home, whatever kind of place it is, to practice hospitality?

Hospitality is NOT about impeccable housekeeping!  Recently I began hosting some monthly gatherings for ladies and their kids at my house, very informal and open house style, because I was craving more time with women and the Spirit spoke to my heart, You have the space, make the time and see what happens.  These have been a blessing to me, causing me to pray that ladies that enter our home will be blessed, that it would be a refuge in the middle of a busy day, that we'd all be mutually encouraged.

Last time, part of the kitchen counter looked like this:

But the other side looked like this:

Keeping the perspective that hospitality is not about a spotless house, but about the atmosphere you create in your home - the way you treat those who enter - allowed me to leave those crazy piles of lesson plans, coupons, lists, books, notebooks, etc.  There wasn't time to get to them, and that was okay.  Sure, it's polite to make sure your guests can walk across the floor without falling over toys and risking a trip to the ER!  But our standards must line up with God's, not Martha Stewart's.  Our pride (fear of judgment or rejection) can too easily keep us from opening our hearts and homes to others, can't it?

What obstacles about your home or in your heart keep you from practicing hospitality?
How can you confront those with the Lord and step out in faith?

Hospitality is about Jesus!  Whether you're in your home or in your car, at the grocery store or at the park, you're the aroma of Christ to those who you encounter.  Hospitality fits with Paul's previous instructions both to honor one another before yourselves and pray faithfully.  Because, well, sometimes people show up when you're NOT expecting it and it's not part of the day's plan, don't they?  In fact, this might be the way we practice hospitality most of the time.  Are our hearts prepared and at the ready?*

Remembering the gospel can really help here.  Think about how God welcomes people - welcomed you! - into His kingdom.  There's always room for one more, always a party (Luke 15), no one is turned away.  Having received such, shall we not ask God to work in our hearts to extend the same loving welcome to those we met?

Have you ever considered hospitality in the context of the Gospel?

How can this perspective spur you on in the area of hospitality?

*     *     *

You have been uniquely placed in time and space and can, therefore, uniquely bring glory to God there.  I don't have the same family, friends, or neighbors as you; I can only strive, by God's grace, to be salt and light where I am.  You can do the same in your home, neighborhood, and relationships.  God will use you to touch the lives of those around you as you reach out in genuine, God-directed hospitality.  And He will change you more into His likeness in the process.  His blessings be upon you as you consider these things and take action to spread the aroma of Christ because of all you've received from Him!

*I've recently been convicted even of how extremely inhospitable I can be to my own family when I'm preparing the house for guests,  acting like the need to be ready and hospitable to others negates the need to be kind and honor them in the process.  I wasn't sure how to fit this into the post, but I want to keep it real folks!

Jacob: Scoundrel Saved by Grace

In the book of Genesis, we met a lot of "famous" Bible folks: Adam & Eve, Cain & Abel, Noah, Abraham & Sarah, Isaac & Rebekah.  Then, in chapter 26, Jacob and Esau are born, about whom the Lord said:

Two nations are in your womb,

and two peoples from within you will be separated;

one people will be stronger than the other,

and the older will serve the younger.

Before their birth, we learn, as Isaac and Rebekah did, that there's going to be something unusual about this pair.  What on earth does God have up his sleeve?

The story continues like a soap opera.

• Parental favoritism: Dad loves Esau; mom love Jacob.
• Unkindness: Jacob gets Esau's birthright in exchange for stew.
• Marital disunity: Rebekah encouraging her son to deceive his father.
• Deception: Isaac dresses up at Esau and steals Esau's blessing.
• Murder plot: Esau plans to kill Jacob once his father is gone.
• Dishonoring of parents: Esau intentionally takes wives from peoples his dad hates.

It's a mess.  And these are God's chosen people we're talking about!  Yup.  You've read it all over the Bible, The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  So, what in the world?!

After all of the lies and deception, Rebekah devises yet another scheme to help Jacob run away and escape being murdered by his brother; she convinces Isaac that Jacob needs to go find a wife from within their family to avoid marrying a Canaanite woman.  Isaac blesses Jacob and sends him on his way.

En route, God meets Jacob in a dream and a change occurs in him because 

he personally encounters the Living God.

Here's the text, Genesis 28:10-20.

Jacob left Beersheba and set out for Haran. When he reached a certain place, he stopped for the night because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones there, he put it under his head and lay down to sleep. He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. There above it stood the LORD, and he said: “I am the LORD, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying. Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” 

When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it.” He was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven.”

Early the next morning Jacob took the stone he had placed under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on top of it. He called that place Bethel, though the city used to be called Luz. 

Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father’s house, then the LORD will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God’s house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth.”

In modern language, I think we can say that with this encounter, Jacob is converted!  A scoundrel is saved!!  A self-centered, unkind, deceitful, sinful jerk is worshiping His God!!!  (Even crazier, God spoke blessing into Jacob's ears and heart before he began to worship Him.)

I'm baffled by this story,

but it gives me so much hope.

*     *     *

Are you feeling like a scoundrel today?

Have you deceived someone, not quite told the truth, lost your patience with your spouse or child(ren), participated in evil, chosen injustice over mercy?  Are you letting yourself be defined by your less-than-clean history, your screwed up family, your mistakes, your very scoundreliness?

Did you read the above story?  I don't know if Jacob was feeling bad about what had been going on in his life, but at the very least, he was aware that he was "on the run" because of it;

and God met him THERE.

Scoundrelly child of God, guess where God will meet you?  You got it, right in the mess where you find yourself!  I don't know what you know about the Bible, but it is the story of redemption from beginning to end.  God didn't suddenly "get nice" when he sent Jesus; Jacob's story is in the Old Testament.  God is in the business of rescuing people from slavery - slavery to their sin and brokenness, bound by the only way they know how to function ... as scoundrels.

Do you know what happens when a scoundrel encounters the Living God, the God of Jacob?  Worship.  Just like Jacob, our hearts are opened up to love and honor the only one who can meet us where we are and transform us into what He wants us to be.

When you're convicted of sin, a Scripture verse comforts you, a prayer is answered, or a "God-thing" occurs, do you recognize the presence of God in that place?  Do you respond with worship, giving praise and thanks to the God of Jacob who is at work in your life?

Dear child of God, you belong to Him, He has a plan for your life, and He calls you His own.  Under the economy of grace we receive FAR MORE than we deserve; we deserve death, but instead our sins are forgiven, Christ's righteousness is imparted to us, and the Holy Spirit takes up residence in our hearts so we are never alone.

As with Jacob, this all begins with God meeting us when we're "on the run"; while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Then the pursuit continues, as the Holy Spirit works in our hearts that we might share in God's holiness.

Fellow scoundrels saved by grace, join me today in worshiping the God of Jacob!

Why I Won't Read My Daughter's Diary ... (Even Though I REALLY Want To!)

Elizabeth is seven and a half.  She's just begun keeping a diary in a little Disney Princess notebook she got years before she could write down her thoughts.

Can I tell you how badly I want to read it?!

SO BAD that I have to use bold, italics, underline, and all caps on the word so!

As her mom, I want to know her sweet inner thoughts; as her teacher, I want to see the writing and spelling she produces when there's no pressure.  Would it really be harmful to read it?  I surely could do it so sneakily that she'd never know, it would help me to know her better, and it's just so cute.  Right?

BUT I cannot read that diary because she has asked me not to.  Period.

*     *     *

Our children are people, just like us.  They are younger, with less worldly wisdom, sure.  But they are individuals worthy of as much love and respect as we would afford any adult in our life.*

Do you respect your kids?  Do you value their opinions and really listen to what they have to say?

I confess (but please don't tell anybody!) that I have an uncanny ability to tune out my children better than anyone else in my life.  I also speak to them in harsher tones than I would use with anyone else in my life.  And, as in this diary case, I can easily justify to myself that it's okay to invade their privacy.

Does the second greatest commandment not apply to how we relate to our kids?

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. ³⁵ One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: ³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 

 ³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Yes, friends, it does.  Those that live under our roof with us are our closest "neighbors."  Let's consider today how we can love and respect these little ones just as our Lord would have us.  They are certainly precious in His sight!

PS  Please pray that I don't cave and read that diary.  The temptation remains!  :)

* I draw basis for these thoughts from chapter eight of H. Clay Trumbull's Hints on Child Training, Honoring a Child's Individuality, that I reviewed a while back.  Check it out for more great parenting wisdom!

Book Recommendation: Games for Writing by Peggy Kaye

This is one from the archives that I wanted to endorse again. We follow a copy/dictation/from-memory writing plan.  On Fridays, we've been using a game from this book for Elizabeth's writing lesson, just to mix things up a bit. She is always so excited when it's a "Games for Writing" day!  Parents, I highly recommend this book, especially if you have a hesitant writer in your family and even if you don't.  I'd be happy to lend this book to you if you're local and want to check it out!

*     *     *

October, 2010

I bought this book last year because it was recommended somewhere. I enjoyed using the activities a little here and there, but didn't get into it much.

Last week, I was thinking our writing routine was getting a little monotonous and returned to Games for Writing. We played two games this week and E wrote up a storm! One reason these games have been fun, is her current writing level: she knows how to form all of the letters (though not always in the correct orientation!) and has attempted a little writing and invented spelling on her own, outside "school time." As her teacher, I picked a couple of games I thought might really get her going.

For the record, this is a book full of fun activities you could do with a child in school; it's not a homeschoolers book or part of any curriculum. Many of the games grew out of a desire to inspire kids who hated writing and is geared toward children in Kindergarten through third grade.

I'm sure you're wondering, so here are the two games we played this week!

1. A Race of Words - Race the child to write as many words as they can naming things in the room in 10 minutes. You can give the child a head start and she suggests a scoring system.
2. Do it! - Take turns writing down something for the other to do, and then they have to do it! For example: jump up and down three times, crawl around the table like a crab, go up the stairs and slide down, etc. (Both of these games are writing, NOT spelling, activities.)

I think the games in this book for after the child already knows his letters and can do a little writing are more fun than the "getting started" ideas. That's not a fault of the book, just a personal observation; I'm mostly excited to see my girl writing!

And why not let it be fun?

Childlike Faith

Elizabeth's cousin had just given her a beautiful wooden yo-yo the night before.  She'd been trying things out to get it to work.  Then suddenly, it split in half.  She wasn't distraught or disappointed when she told me.  I said we'd look into fixing it soon.  Nonchalantly she replied, "It's okay.  Daddy can fix it."

Daddy can fix it.

She had full confidence, without really knowing what it would take, that her daddy could fix that yo-yo for her.

As the wife of that daddy, I was touched by the confidence my daughter has in her father.  History informs her belief that dad can fix things that break, that she can trust him to come through when she needs help.

As a Christian I wondered at my daughter's pure, confident trust.  Do I trust my Heavenly Father in that way?  When I hold broken things in my hands, to I turn to the Lord in faith, knowing

Daddy can fix it?

Um, yeah.  Not as quickly as I should.

*     *    *

What broken things do you hold in your hands today?  Are you handing them to the Lord, confident as a young child that He alone can fix them for you?  Or are you clinging to them, frantically trying to bind them back together with the weak glue, tape, and staples of logic, worry, and self-sufficiency?

You see, Elizabeth knew the yo-yo was broken and there was nothing she could do to fix it herself.  So she turned to one who she knew could.  Without hesitation.  Without first trying a bunch of options.  Because she knew

Daddy can fix it.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

*     *     *

Jesus told his disciples and the crowds that coming to the Father like a child was the way to go, the right way to approach God.  Our pride, our I-should-be-able-to-handle-this-by-now attitude, can keep us from running into his arms, curling on up his lap, and pouring out our hearts to him: confessing our sins in that safe place, sharing fears, asking for help ... placing our broken yo-yos in the hands that can fix them.

Friends, Daddy can fix it.

I leave you with Psalm 103 for meditation on the confidence we can have in our Abba Father because of who He is (italics) and how He loves us (bold.)  Praise the Lord, indeed!

¹ Praise the LORD, O my soul;
   all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
² Praise the LORD, O my soul,
   and forget not all his benefits—
³ who forgives all your sins
   and heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
   and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
   so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. 

 ⁶ The LORD works righteousness
   and justice for all the oppressed. 

 ⁷ He made known his ways to Moses,
   his deeds to the people of Israel: 
⁸ The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
   slow to anger, abounding in love. 
⁹ He will not always accuse,
   nor will he harbor his anger forever;
¹⁰ he does not treat us as our sins deserve
   or repay us according to our iniquities. 
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
   so great is his love for those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
   so far has he removed our transgressions from us. 
¹³ As a father has compassion on his children,
   so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; 
¹⁴ for he knows how we are formed,
   he remembers that we are dust.
¹⁵ As for man, his days are like grass,
   he flourishes like a flower of the field;
¹⁶ the wind blows over it and it is gone,
   and its place remembers it no more.
¹⁷ But from everlasting to everlasting
   the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
   and his righteousness with their children’s children— 
¹⁸ with those who keep his covenant
   and remember to obey his precepts. 

 ¹⁹ The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
   and his kingdom rules over all. 

 ²⁰ Praise the LORD, you his angels,
   you mighty ones who do his bidding,
   who obey his word.
²¹ Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
   you his servants who do his will.
²² Praise the LORD, all his works
   everywhere in his dominion. 

   Praise the LORD, O my soul.

Back in Action!

Life in the Valley doesn't really look that much different, but I've made several changes:

• Pages (the horizontal list just below the title header) have been edited and added above; check them out!
• My friends' blogs have been moved to Google Reader, leaving a short list of gems I read for encouragement and/or to keep me grounded (scroll down the column on the right.)
• I've added ways you can more easily know when there's a new post  (subscribe via email or an RSS feed or through Facebook, also in column on the right.)
• Coming soon: My friend Hilary is working to create a new header graphic for me.  I think this is super cool!

Feel free to give me feedback about the formatting, things that you love or hate or think are missing, or anything else that comes to mind.  I'm open to suggestions!  Thank you if you've been praying for me over the month.  I'm very grateful.

Now, with all of these little details I've wanted to deal with for quite a while all addressed, I can return to focusing on content.  I'd like this blog to be a place of respite for sinners like me, where we look to God's Word to speak into our lives practically, letting the Gospel soak into the fibers of our being.


To that end, let me direct you to last year's February 1st post.


I'm so glad to be "back."  I didn't completely quit blogging during January, over the next couple of weeks you'll be able to read posts I wrote or started during that time.  I wonder how baby girl will influence the content on this blog in the coming year.  You'll just have to stay tuned to find out!  (As soon as I can after she's here, I'll post pictures.)

Personal No Blog Posting Month (PerNoBloPoMo)

I'm going to take January off from blogging.  We're going to have another one of these in a month and a half:

Life will be a little fuller then, (to say the least!) and there is some work I'd like to do on this page to update it and such BEFORE that time comes, as well as praying/thinking through the purpose of this site.  I invite you to pray for me over the month, as well ... please!  Maybe I'll be able to do what I want sooner than I think and I'll be back in action before the end of January, but we'll see.

Until then, I wish you and yours a very

Happy New Year!